A Christmas Restoration
by A Cullen Wannabe
Summary: When single Mom, Bella, took her children to Colorado for their visitation with their father, she never dreamed she would find something unexpected in a winter storm.  Can Edward heal Bella's wounds and restore her faith in men, love, and herself?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the original characters from the Twilight Saga. **

_**Author's Note: I'm sorry I've been fail on MOB updates as of late, but this little Holiday plot bunny has been dominating my creative process for the past week or two. I hope you like it. I'll be posting one a day between now and Christmas until we're caught up…and then I'll post more between Christmas and New Year's!**_

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**Chapter 1**

It was dark and snowing hard by the time I left after dropping off the kids with Jake and Nessie. I hated leaving them. This was the first time I'd ever been away from my kids for Christmas, but this was the lingering pains of divorce. Not like having my husband of eight years cheat on me with 'the soulmate he never thought he'd find' wasn't painful enough, no, then we get to deal with custody of our two kids over holidays and summers.

To complicate matters even more, he up and moved without preamble into the middle of BFE, also known as some obscure little town in the Colorado Rockies to be closer to his precious Nessie's family. Screw the fact that he has two kids under the age of six who depend on him and adore him…no Nessie's need for her parents to help her adjust after getting knocked up by my husband while we were still married most definitely trumped the needs of five year old Braxton and two year old Bailey. They were married less than a week after the divorce was finalized, Nessie waddling down the aisle at eight months pregnant, Braxton and Bailey completely ignored during the whole thing, only learning about it two weeks later when Jake called to check in and dumped it on them.

Three weeks later, Nessie gave birth to Bianca. This was the first time the kids would be spending any time with them after the move and the birth. Honestly, I was terrified of how this was all going to go down, which is why I had no intention of going all the way home this week, just to sit around all alone and wait for the time to pass for them to come home. Hell, no! If something went down, I was going to be a lot closer than a fifteen hour car ride. I had reservations for a little bed and breakfast in a picturesque little town about twenty minutes away called Everwood. The brochures looked precious with a beautiful annual winter festival to indulge in, as well as a lot of peace and quiet to allow me to write in peace.

I was a bestselling author with three making it to the NY Times bestseller list, but with the loss of my marriage and my sudden jump into single parenthood, so went my muse. I hadn't been able to sit down and write more than a thousand words since that fateful day last January. My editor had been very understanding, but my moratorium on meeting my contract mandate of two more novels was coming to an end. Not only that, I needed to get back into my groove in order to support me and my kids. With any luck, a week free of small distractions and the inspiration that can sometimes accompany loneliness would be just the ticket to open the door to another bestseller. I had a feeling though, that my 'voice' was going to be much darker than it had been before.

Lost in my thoughts as I twisted my way through the narrow, snow bank-lined roads, I didn't see the deer until a second too late. Black ice, breaks, and swerving to miss the massive buck all added up to the world blurring around me in black and white with green popping up every once in a while in the illumination of my headlights. When the spinning stopped, my car was nose first in the side of the snow bank, the engine sputtering out within less than a minute.

I cursed and beat the steering wheel a few times before letting my head fall back against the headrest and allowed the tears of frustration to fall. The cold was already beginning to seep through all the little cracks, chilling the cab of the vehicle. In a few minutes it would be freezing. I wiped at my face in annoyance before trying the ignition again. The car gave a few whirrs before wheezing into silence again.

My tooth drew blood as I bit hard into my lip, my anger channeled into the delicate flesh. This was just another tick on the checklist of my shitty year. Cheating husband, check. Death of my father due to heart attack, check. Flighty Mother moving to Spain with her rich new husband in the midst of my turmoil, check. Messy divorce, check. Jackass ex moving off with his pregnant slut and abandoning my kids, check. Manipulated into driving them here because I absolutely refused to put them on a plane alone to fly all the way to Colorado, check. Pathetic human now stranded on the side of the road to become a human popsicle, leaving my kids to play second fiddle to the little bastard their father had with his ho, check.

The guttural scream that escaped my chest made my ear drums vibrate painfully with its pitch. Just when I thought I couldn't get any lower something else would come in to make things worse. It was like the biggest cosmic joke of all time and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I didn't even notice the strobbing lights behind the car until after the loud knock came on my window as I sobbed behind the wheel. I jumped and turned to see the large bundle of down wrapped manhood shadowed against the side of my car. My hand trembled as I reached over to lower the electric window only to find the most handsome, kind looking green eyes gazing at me with worry from within the wrappings of wool and down. The twin scents of coffee and cinnamon wafted through the window making my mouth water as he spoke.

"Are you alright, Miss?"

I hiccupped, feeling like an even bigger fool that he had probably seen me acting like a lunatic before sucking in a ragged breath. "Y..yes. Just a really bad night. Mmmy car won't start."

He sighed, glancing toward the hood with a nod. "Yeah, this puppy isn't going anywhere till morning. Joe can have you out in a jiffy in the morning, but with this storm, there's no way he'll make it before then. Where you headed?"

I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes welling with more tears as I looked through the windshield. "My kids are with their Dad for the week in Pine Ridge. I elected to take a room at the B and B in Everwood for the week so I'm nearby. I was heading there when the storm hit."

He nodded knowingly as he glanced back and forth down the road while knocking his gloved hand on the roof of the car a few times. I watched as he furrowed his brow before squatting next to the door, resting his hands on the window sill.

"The storm's getting worse and we're still a good twenty miles from Everwood. I would push through and take you back myself, but I need to stay up there until my patrol shift is over." I glanced down to see the National Parks Ranger emblem on his jacket. I hadn't even realized I had trolled into a National Park area.

"How would you feel about grabbing your things and coming along with me? My post isn't too far away from here. You can warm up, get something to eat and hunker down for the night. I can call for Joe to tow your car into Everwood tomorrow and take you to the B&B on my way home since I live there myself. My parents actually run the B&B and I live in one of the guest cottages on the back of the property. Would that be okay with you, Ma'am?"

I chuckled when he called me Ma'am, which earned a confused expression. "Oh please don't call me Ma'am, Officer…" I glanced at his nametag before looking back up, "Cullen. You make me feel old. Please call me Bella, and your offer sounds far better than freezing to death out here all night."

He smiled, a hint of a blush hitting the tips of his cheeks. "Then please call me Edward. If you pop the trunk, I'll grab out your bags while you get bundled and lock up. We'll drop your keys off to Joe in the morning when we head into town, or have him drop by the ranger station to pick them up."

I nodded and thanked him profusely before rolling my window back up and gathering my belongings. A few minutes later, I was closed up in his toasty jeep, enjoying the yummy scent which now surrounded me. I forgot all about the smell for a few seconds when Edward put down his hood, revealing the total wow factor that was Officer Cullen. Oh my freaking Gahhhhhh! I had always thought Jacob Black was the best looking man I'd ever met in person, but Officer McHotstuff made Jake look like he should wear a bag over his head in shame. I don't know how long I was gawking, but I was finally pulled out of it when Edward reached into a box on the seat and handed over the most tempting looking Cinnamon roll I'd ever seen, smothered in smooth white icing.

"Would you like a CinEsme Roll? My mom makes them from scratch for the guests every morning and evening and they are the pride of the county."

I reached for it, humming as my eyes rolled in the back of my head the first moment the confection hit my lips. It was like a hometown Christmas all rolled up in one perfect little bundle of breading and sugar. "This is the best thing I've ever tasted," I finally mumbled through a full mouth.

Hotty Ranger Edward just chuckled with a nod before pulling carefully back out onto the roadway. We stopped one more time to check on a man changing a flat tire on a huge 4x4 pickup before finally pulling in front of a small log shack, welcomingly lit from within.

I dreaded going out in the cold as I stared at the small cabin before me. I slowly ate the last few bites, trying to forge my courage to brave the winter winds when suddenly I was surprised by my door opening for me and a large, strong looking hand reaching out to offer assistance. I just stared as if it were some alien tentacle, so shocked by the actual presentation of such a gentlemanly offer, which was so rare in my world, I had never actually seen it in practice.

I glanced at Edward to see him watching me warily again before I finally reached forward to take his hand. Even though there were layers of warm materials separating us, my heart seemed to lurch in reaction to the contact. Once I was on the ground, I blinked up at him.

"Uh, Thank you. I've never actually had a guy do that for me before. I…sorry."

He chuckled, pretending to tip an invisible hat as he shot me an "Awe shucks ma'am, my mama taught me to be a gentleman."

I chuckled before allowing him to escort me to the door. I sighed in relief when I stepped through the threshold to the warm, dry space. It was nothing fancy, but it was comfortable. Edward disappeared, returning shortly afterward with my bags before offering to let me dry off and change in the bathroom.

By the time I came out of the restroom, he had taken some blankets and made a bed for me on the couch. When I walked into the room wearing my ratty sweats and Arizona State University sweatshirt, he froze for a second, staring as if I just walked in looking like a bombshell or something. Within seconds, he seemed to shake it off, apologizing for not having anything better for me to sleep on. Little did he know, it was the most inviting bed I'd ever been presented. I'd never had anyone attend to me, even in such small ways. Mom was more the child than I was, Charlie wasn't the nurturing type, but he did his best, and from the beginning, I was always the one bending over backward to make Jake happy. It was so foreign and yet so nice to be taken care of for a change.

Edward gave me some water before I curled up on the couch. I must have passed out immediately. I vaguely remember him telling me he had to go out on a call before I succumbed to the comfort of sleep again. I didn't know anything else until his gentle hand shook my shoulder early the next morning.

I blinked slowly, trying to make myself realize the beautiful man with copper highlighted hair, sea glass green eyes, and beautifully sharp chin really had saved me from my stranded car the night before and was not just a really awesome dream. He chuckled before waving a cinnamon roll under my nose at which point my eyes popped open and an embarrassing moan escaped my chest.

I took the roll immediately and began to savor its sweetness. Even after sitting overnight, it was still heavenly. Once the roll was done, Edward introduced me to his colleague who was replacing him, a sweet looking younger guy named Seth, before letting me change and helping me load my bags into his Jeep.

As we drove slowly out of the drive through the deep snow, I glanced back at the cabin with a smile, thanking whoever was looking out for me above for sending me the angelic man to save me the night before. At least for now, my kids wouldn't be stuck living with their failure of a father for the foreseeable future.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: Here's Ch 2. Yesterday I forgot to thank my beta, AgoodWITCH for her work getting these back to me to post, and my WC ladies for their encouragement. Also a big thanks to my pre-readers, Deena and Sarah!**_

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**Chapter 2**

After half an hour of sharing a car with Edward, chatting quietly as we drove, Edward turned down a long lane that led to Happily Ever After bed and breakfast. I gasped from the passenger seat as the building came into view, astonished by how little justice the pictures on the website did for the place. In the middle of an open field lined with tall fir trees on either side, a picturesque lodge with wooden shaker style shingles on the roof and large windows backed up to the foothills of a large mountain that rose behind the apex of the A-frame roof. I knew from the online description that the A frame part of the building was the dayroom where the parlor area and dining area were held. Stretching off in either direction from the large middle structure shot two long wings that seemed to hug the hillside behind it.

Edward smiled at me as I jumped when he once again managed to open my door before I even realized he was out of the car. His eyes twinkled as he offered me his hand and helped me from the car. With seemingly no effort whatsoever, he grabbed my suitcase and other bags and carried them up the wide brick steps that led to the rough hewn logs that constructed the wraparound porch. He marched straight to the tall, wide double oak doors and opened it, gesturing for me to step through before him.

As I stepped into the atrium area, I sighed at the simplistic beauty of the place. The air felt warm and inviting as the soft scent of the wood burning fireplace seemed to wrap me in comfort. Unlike many of these places I had stayed at in the past, typically chosen by 'Manly Man Jake,' this was not adorned with animal heads or horns and antlers of once proud animals. Instead it held a soft clean feeling of a country home.

Edward walked ahead of me to the counter and set down my bags before leaning over to gaze into the office area to the left.

"Mom? Dad? Are you guys around? I have a border for you."

He smiled at me over his shoulder as we heard the shuffling of paper seconds before a little squeal echoed from the office followed by the sound of tiny running feet. Edward's eyes got wide as if he were surprised, but the beautiful smile that graced his face was far more telling.

Seconds later, a small girl who looked like she was about Braxton's age if not a little older ran around the counter and bounded into Edward's arms. What I didn't expect was her tiny exclamation of "Daddy, I missed you," as he swept her into his arms and covered her face with kisses. My heart warmed as I watched the handsome man coo over his daughter with soft green eyes that matched his along with long, silky, straight hair so dark it was nearly black. Her skin also had a darker coloring than Edward's complexion, which made her eyes pop even more. The little girl was the type of beautiful that was destined to win the Miss America title one day.

I had noticed earlier in the evening that Edward wore no wedding band, so I had to figure either he was never married to her mother, or they had divorced as well. I could only hope for this obviously close father and daughter that it wasn't as painful as mine had been. It was only seconds later before I learned he hadn't been so lucky.

"I'm so happy to see you, my Millie. I missed you so much! I'm just surprised to see you so early. I didn't think your Mommy was bringing you for another week."

The smile on the little girl's face faltered for a moment, the glimmer in her sea glass eyes growing dull. The little girl sighed. "Paul had to go to Milan for some fashion emergency and Mom had to go with him. My nannies were given vacation time for the holidays and she didn't want to deal with me on such a long flight or have to try to fly me back, so she asked Grandma if you could keep me both weeks." Then as if someone lit a blaze inside the girl she lit up like a firefly. "But that means we get two whole weeks together instead, Daddy. Isn't that great?"

Edward hugged her to his chest and closed his eyes. It seemed as if he were literally trying to absorb her by osmosis. He took a long sniff of her hair before kissing where he had sniffed. "It's the best news I've heard all year, lovebug. I'm so happy to have you. I wish I could keep you all of the time, you know that."

She nodded, looking a little sad before Edward began tickling her ribs and pulling her out of her downward spiral. It broke my heart to watch them interact, wishing my babies had that kind of bond with their father. Jake would hug the kids and then in five minute he would get bored and start doing his own thing, leaving them to watch TV or entertain themselves. I always wished they could have the sort of relationship with him that Edward had with his daughter, but Jake was too selfish to ever love anyone like that.

Well, until he met Vanessa Carson that is, then suddenly there was one person in the world he put above all else. Sure, it didn't hurt that she was twenty and built like a flipping super model with perfect hair and skin. Jake's thirty-five year old ass couldn't resist the lure of the beauty, and of course my thirty-two year old body which had been sliced and diced thanks to two c-sections, one being an emergency that required a T-shaped incision, couldn't even come close to comparing.

Anyway, I digress. I was so busy watching Edward and his daughter, who I think he called Millie, that I had failed to notice the small, sweet-looking woman standing behind the counter with a loving smile on her face. She glanced from me to the sweet reunion and then back to me. She reached her hand across the counter to shake mine happily, as a caring smile graced her face.

"I take it you are Isabella Black?"

I held up my hand. "Call me Bella, please."

She nodded. "Bella. Edward called and informed us of what happened last night. Your room is ready and waiting for you. I'm sure you could use a nice long hot soak and a few hours in a real bed. Just let me take care of this paperwork with you and then you'll be all set to relax before lunch. In the summer we only serve breakfast, but with the unpredictable weather around here, we provide the additional services of lunch and dinner in case bad weather deters you from exploring. We are also willing to shuttle you if you need to go anywhere before your car is repaired. The winter festival starts tonight with a candlelight service in the town square and then continues the rest of the week. I hope you'll join us for the ceremony. It really is quite lovely."

I nodded and thanked her before she asked Edward if he and his daughter would help me to my room. I told him I could manage, but he insisted. His daughter eyed me speculatively, looking from her father to me and back again. After a few times she reached for one of my smaller bags and tugged it onto her shoulder making me giggle.

"My son always likes carrying that bag. I think the two of you might be close to the same age."

The little girl's eyes lit up again. "You have a son? Is he here? Can I play with him?"

I bit my lip and sucked in a sad smile. "Actually I have two kids. Braxton is five and a half, and Bailey just turned two a few months ago. They aren't here though. They are visiting their Dad and his new family about an hour away from here."

The little girl looked at me with an understanding that transcended her age. "So you're alone for Christmas?"

I nodded and fought back the tears. Edward went to interrupt her when the little girl ran to me and hugged me around the waist, big tears rolled down her rosy cheeks. "Nobody should be alone on Christmas. You should have Christmas with us."

She turned back to her Dad with pleading eyes as he looked at her with a helpless expression before looking at me for a reaction. I could tell he didn't want to force my hand either way. Finally, I helped him out, kneeling down in front of the precious girl and wiping away her tears.

"Thank you for the invitation. You are such a sweet girl for offering, but I don't want to interrupt your family's traditions. I'll be just fine sweetheart, don't worry about me."

The girl's eyes grew wider before they lit again, that maturity and intelligence beyond her years sparking visibly in the sea glass green. "There's no such thing as interrupting family traditions. Grandma says that Christmas is about sharing and caring and that doesn't end with family. We would be happy to have you."

I chanced a glance up at Edward who was gazing down at his little girl with such fatherly pride it made my heart ache. He glanced at me with a nod. "That little girl definitely has a memory for quotes. That is exactly what my Mom says. I don't want you to feel like you have to, but we'd love to have you."

Millie tugged at my hand. "Please, Miss Bella? Come with us to the Candlelight service tonight and see how it goes. I just know you'll love it and want to spend the whole weekend with us. Please say yes…Pleeeeease!"

I glanced at Edward again who affirmed her invitation was from all before I looked back at the girl with a smile and a nod. "It sounds beautiful, Millie. I'd love to."

Millie cheered and picked back up the case, tugging it onto her shoulder before grabbing my hand and leading me further down the hallway, chattering the whole way about all the great things she wanted to show me tonight. I could hear her father chuckling behind her as the tiny girl directed me the rest of the way.

They helped me settle my things in the comfortably decorated room before making plans for that evening, before they left, I knelt down before Millie with a smile. "You know, you never did tell me how old you are."

The little girl straightened her back and held out a tiny hand. "I'm sorry. I'm Amileah Grace Cullen and I am going to be six on New Year's Eve. My name is spelled A-M-I-L-E-A-H after my Mom, Leah, but everybody calls me Millie."

I chuckled before holding out my hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Millie. My name is Isabella Marie Swan Black, but everybody calls me Bella. I don't tell people how old I am anymore; you won't either after you reach about 25 or so."

Edward chuckled before asking if I needed anything else and ushering his daughter from the room. He knelt down and whispered something in her ear that earned a squeal before she dashed off down the hallway. Edward paused at the door and turned back to me.

"Thank you, Bella. Millie doesn't always do well around women who aren't her Grandmother. I was very pleased to see her take to you so quickly. I think she can sense you're a good Mom. Either way, thank you."

I nodded, really wanting to ask about a million questions about her mother and her life, but not wanting to be intrusive. Edward promised to be back in the great room to escort Millie and I to the Candlelight gathering at six before shuffling off to spend a little time with his daughter before the need for sleep forced him to his bed for a few hours.

I watched him walk away, thinking how lucky Millie was to have such a dedicated father. I felt bad that they were obviously separated far more often than either of them liked. Just the way that little girl talked about her mother, I suspected she was probably very much like Jake, selfish and self-centered.

I moved to the bathroom, taking Esme's suggestion for a long hot soak, but my mind kept drifting to the father and daughter with the matching green eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: Sing with me now…ON the third day of Christmas Restoration, ACullenWannabe gave to meeeee….more drama and a Candlelight Ceremoneeeeeey! LOL. Hope you guys are enjoying the story. Reviews have been pretty good, so I'm assuming it's a good thing going on.**_

_**Thank you as always to my beta, AgoodWITCh, who I have flooded with chapters lately, and Deena and Sarah for pre-reading this ditty for me. Hope you're enjoying the back to back updates. As long as we're still on schedule you should get one a day through the 23**__**rd**__**, and then I'll start posting again the Tuesday before New Year's through the end, as long as I get it done in time. This one will be short…I'm guessing around ten chapters when it's all said and done. I finished chapter 7 last night…**_

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Chapter 3

After my bath, I had a quiet lunch in the great room, loving the heck out of the scenery and wishing the kids could see it. I couldn't imagine how awesome it must be to wake up and watch the sun bounce off the mountains while eating breakfast every morning.

After breakfast, I went back to my room for a nap, waking up to make a phone call to check on the kids before going down for supper. After supper, I would get dressed and go back to the great room to meet Edward and Millie for the Candlelight thing. Jake answered with a gruff hello as the sound of a screaming baby in the background drowned out all else.

"It's Bella. I was just checking to make sure the kids are doing alright. I had an accident last night and didn't make it to the place I'm staying until morning."

Typical Jake didn't care about my accident or anything else as he yelled at my children in the background. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to suppress my need to curse him out. After several more seconds of listening to him bellow over the screams of the infant that grew louder as he apparently picked her up, I finally yelled into the receiver to just let me talk to the kids.

The crying baby grew a little softer as the phone was passed to Braxton. "Momma?"

"Hey, buddy. How are things going? Are you having fun with your Dad?"

Braxton let out a sigh, which I knew meant he didn't mean it if he did lie and say he was having fun. "It's okay, Mom. The baby has click so it's not very fun."

I furrowed my brow, "Click?"

"Yeah, you know, when babies cry a lot for no reason? Nessie couldn't handle it. She said between the baby and us she was going nuts. She left two hours ago to go to the spa with her Mom. Dad's not happy."

I sighed, wishing I could help them, but knowing my hands were tied. This was Jake's court mandated time with them. I couldn't swoop in and just take them away. "I think the word you were looking for is Colic. You and Bailey had it too. Give me the phone again after I finish talking to you and Bay and I'll see if I can help him so you guys can relax. Is everything okay except for the baby?"

"Yeah, Mom. I just really miss you when you're gone. I want to go stay at the Happy place with you."

I wiped at a tear. "I know, spud. We're going to come back here and stay two nights before we drive all the way back home so you can see. Guess what? The people who run this place have a granddaughter just your age. Her birthday is on New Year's Eve. Maybe you guys will get to play together while we're here."

"Okay. Well, Bailey wants to talk to you and Dad is saying we need to hurry in case Nessie calls. I love you. Please come back as soon as you can."

"I miss you too, spudbud. I promise I'll be back to get you as soon as your time with Dad is over."

"Promise?"

I smiled and wiped another tear. "Cross my heart."

"Okay…here's Bailey."

My conversation with Bailey was mainly her babbling words I couldn't make out for long stretches smattered with words I did understand but didn't like. Those words included sad, cry, spank, owie, and bad baby. Then of course it was ended by "Wuv you Momma, when coming back? Miss you." She cried when Jake finally took the phone away which broke my heart even more.

"Listen, you have to call back tomorrow. Nessie might be trying to call and I want her to get through."

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm sure you do. Listen, you need to leave that baby with Nessie and take the kids out for some Dad time on their own. They are there to see you, not watch you fuss over that baby. Nessie is the Mom. I dealt with Colic and so can she. Don't forget the football hold. It was the only way I could get Braxton or Bailey to sleep when they were Colicky. Tuck her head in the crook of your elbow, head facing out and walk around bouncing her ever so slightly and rubbing her back. And I fully expect to speak longer with them when I call tomorrow."

"Whatever, B. Bye." A dial tone followed his sarcastic remark. Oh well, it was his funeral. He was never good with the kids when they were babies. If Nessie was already flaking two months in then they were in for a long haul ahead, because Jake wasn't going to pick up the pieces for her. He wasn't capable.

I went down for supper, sighing in delight as Esme slid a bowl of warm beef vegetable soup in front of me before bringing out a plate with mashed potatoes, a small filet steak, green beans with onions and garlic, and soft warm rolls. I asked her to join me, but she said she had already eaten.

I finished my warm comforting meal quickly before running back to my room to grab my festive red dress coat. I buttoned it all the way up to my chin before pulling my white and red chenille scarf around my neck and tossing the matching red knit cap atop my head. Sliding on my black isotoner gloves, I took one last look in the mirror before heading down the hallway to join the rest of the group.

I smiled when I saw the men dressed in suits and warm wool dress coats. Esme and Millie were dressed in matching black wool coats. Millie looked adorable with the big green bow in her hair that matched the green tights on her legs ending in black Mary Janes. I found myself wondering if she'd be warm enough, but figured the natives would know better than I.

I glanced around the room, looking for that one familiar face I was looking forward to seeing most and freezing when I found him across the room, leaning against the fireplace and watching me with a serious expression. It wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't the same smile from before either.

I lifted my hand to wave seconds before a vice grip latched on to my waist. I yelped in surprise before looking down to see Millie wrapped around my waist, her green eyes and wide smile beaming up at me.

"I'm so glad you came, Miss Bella! Come on!"

With that, Millie and I led the group out of the door and to the cars. Millie insisted I sit beside her in the back seat of her Grandma's Range Rover. I smiled and agreed, climbing into the middle to squeeze next to her booster seat before Edward slipped in the other side to settle next to me. He smiled sheepishly before offering to help me buckle the hard to reach seatbelt.

A five minute car ride later, we had found a place to park along a side street. Millie had once again commandeered me the second we exited the car and tugged me by the hand down the street, chattering happily the whole way. I smiled down at her until we reached the main boulevard, lit up with white lights arching over the street from one old-fashioned streetlamp to the next in a network of twinkling illumination.

We passed innumerable small stores on the way to the town square, each painstakingly decorated for the celebration. I loved the time and care the people in this town put into this event and found myself wondering if they did this year round or only saved it for the holidays. I had never lived in a small town, spending all of my life in suburbs of Phoenix. I couldn't help but wonder if living in a small town such as this was as cozy and wonderful as it seemed.

In the middle of town, a small square of snow-covered grass rested with a beautiful antique looking white gazebo taking up the middle of the space. Up in the gazebo a choir of children dressed as angels ordered themselves in preparation for the coming event as the townspeople crowded as closely as possible to get in on the action. Edward, Millie, and I were in the center of our group, Esme and Carlisle to Edward's right while the other couples staying in the lodge cuddled together to my left. Edward lifted Millie into his arms just before the crowd began to pass little white candles around with small cones of paper to keep the wax from burning everyone's fingers.

I watched as Edward whispered to Millie and Millie whispered back. Edward smiled brightly before kissing her cheek. I felt like I was intruding on their private moment, but then again I couldn't look away. I still felt like I was waiting to wake up. I'd never seen a man like Edward before. My Dad was nowhere near like him, neither was Jake or any other man I ever tried to date or have a relationship with. I had long ago given up the hope that man like Edward even existed, but watching him with his daughter, I could tell he was the real deal.

A few seconds later, a harp echoed a beautiful melody across the air that brought everyone's attention to the Gazebo. After a short introduction from the director, the Candlelight ceremony began with the children singing _It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, _followed by_ O Little Town of Bethlehem. _I smiled as two small children entered the scene dressed as Mary and Joseph. The little ceremony continued on to tell the Christmas story before the flame was passed amongst the crowd and everyone sang together into the night.

I tried to so hard to hide my tears, but it was impossible as my heart ached to have my kids by my side. Odds are, they were at Jakes being fed pre-processed microwavable food in front of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer while Jake tried playing Daddy to his new little bundle of discomfort. I wished I could have them there with me, safe and happy. They would have loved the singing and the show and playing with Millie. All I could do was pray that they would be safe and have some good memories from some point in the week.

After the show ended and the candles and been put out and recollected, Esme took Millie and suggested Edward take me on a tour of the town and enjoy the lights. Millie wasn't happy with the suggestion, but went with her grandma anyway after promises of hot cocoa and bubble baths. Once they left with promises of Carlisle returning with the car in an hour, Edward led me to the Hot Cocoa booth where he bought me a warm cup of heaven with extra marshmallows.

I took a few sips, humming with appreciation before we slowly began to stroll through the picturesque town. Taking a deep breath, I sighed happily. "This place is so wonderful. A little cold for my taste, but beautiful none the less."

Edward smiled as we walked, shifting his body toward me slightly. "I never did ask actually, where are you from, Bella?"

I smiled, taking another sip before speaking. "Phoenix, Arizona, born and raised. Until I got involved with Jake, I'd never actually left Arizona. My parents weren't really the family vacation sort. Then after that we only ever went the places Jake wanted to go. I always wanted to come somewhere picturesque like this, but Jake always insisted on somewhere he considered manlier."

Edward chuckled shaking his head. "Yeah, there are some um, manlier, things to do around here, but most people don't see them for the small town charm. So Jake is your ex husband?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I nodded.

"Would it be too intrusive to ask the story there?"

I licked my lips before swallowing thickly. "No, I need to talk about it more. I'm still sort of recovering from it all. I thought I had the perfect marriage until one day when the rug got yanked out from under me. I've been suffering from writer's block ever since."

He cocked his head, "You're a writer?"

I blushed, cupping my cocoa in both hands and hiding behind it as I took a sip. "Yeah, I write the I.M.S Black novels."

Edward's eyes grew wide as his mouth hung open. "I love your novels. I never…I thought…"

I threw my head back and laughed, "That I was a guy?"

Edward blushed and nodded as I chuckled into my cup taking another long swig.

"Yeah, well I sort of did that on purpose. I knew guys would be reluctant to read a SciFi series like Lightforce if it was written by a woman, so I decided to do the pseudonym thing."

Edward reached over and grabbed my arm, keeping me from tripping over a snow covered mound that he later told me was a fire hydrant. It troubled me that my heart began to thunder at the contact. Edward paused for a second before dropping my arm and gesturing for us to continue. I smiled ruefully before continuing on our way.

"Well, I really like your novels. I think I've read every one at least twice."

I blushed again mumbling a thanks. After a few minutes, he turned to me again. "So it must have been really bad if it has kept you from writing. Reading your interviews, it seemed as though writing was like breathing for you. It must be hard to suddenly be holding your proverbial breath."

I chuckled, shaking my head, "more like having it smothered out of me by a giant mattress." I sighed, "Are you sure you really want my sob story? It's quite pathetic."

Edward coughed before replying in little more than a mumble that it can't be any worse than his own story.

We lost all track of time as we walked; eventually Edward offered me his arm to help me balance on the slippery sidewalk. He was enraged at my stories of Jake's selfish nature and his great move away from his kids that ended up with me stranded so far from home, and my heart broke as Edward revealed the story of his equally horrible ex. I had to admit, we were on fairly equal footing as far as the heart wrenching divorce thing went.

Edward and Leah had been high school sweethearts, having both been born and raised in Everwood. Leah was an exotic beauty who was the envy of the school, yet for whatever reason she had chosen Edward. Edward said he was amazed that someone as beautiful, and at least at that point, sweet as Leah had chosen him. They were prom king and queen and the most popular kids in their small school, but Leah always dreamed of a life far bigger than Everwood, while Everwood was Edward's ideal. Being the loving partner that he was, he chose to follow Leah to California for college, putting her happiness above all else.

Within a year of their move, Leah had managed to be discovered by an agent and was well on her way to a successful modeling career. She shocked the hell out of Edward by proposing to him. They were married by the age of twenty. Edward completed his degree in law enforcement while Leah more or less gave up completely on college in order to pursue larger and larger modeling gigs. With each raise in pay grade, each higher level of fame, Leah changed more and more, letting her own desires out-shadow everything else.

After graduation, Edward actually went through the FBI academy and got a job with the bureau. While most people would be proud of their husbands for this, Leah was less than impressed, particularly with his less than stellar pay grade. By the time they were twenty-six, Leah had changed so much, she was a mere shadow of the girl Edward had fallen in love with. He didn't want to admit it, because he had always believed that when he married it would be for life, but he and Leah were on the fast track to divorce. He would probably never be so low as to file, but he was pretty certain this new, self-important Leah would not be staying in a situation that she wasn't happy with for much longer.

It was spring when Edward's world spun on end. He had just gotten back from a case that kept him out overnight, settling in to try to get a few hours sleep, when Leah came storming into the house, throwing things all over and screaming like a Banshee. It took him a good ten minutes of listening to her rant before he realized what was wrong…Leah was pregnant. What should have been a joyous time was nearly heartbreaking when she cruelly threw into his face when he seemed excited that there was a chance that the child might not be his.

The next eight months were hell on earth. Edward begged Leah not to have the abortion she was determined to have. She finally agreed, suggesting that they move back to Everwood for the pregnancy so that their families could help them, and probably also so she would be out of sight during her pregnancy. Edward easily got hired on with the National Park Service and worked hard to provide for them while Leah sulked and groused the entire pregnancy, blaming the baby for ruining her career.

When the time for delivery came, he was so relieved when his beautiful little girl was born with his trademark green eyes. They did a paternity test to confirm, but it wasn't necessary, for anybody who looked at that girl's eyes knew to whom she belonged. Leah took off within a few weeks to go back to LA, leaving Amileah, her namesake at her own insistence, with Edward and his parents. There had been no warning, just a note on her pillow.

Millie stayed with them for two years with very few interactions with her mother until one day Leah descended with an army of lawyers, demanding custody of her little girl and an immediate divorce. Edward fought tooth and nail, but unfortunately this was one of those times when the court's tendencies to place children with their mother didn't necessarily work out best for the child. Edward went from having his angel year round to only getting her for a week ever two months.

Millie went from being surrounded by family who adored her to living with a mother who hired a team of nannies and rarely took any time to be with her daughter. Eventually it came to light that the whole reason Leah claimed her daughter was in pursuit of the man who soon after became her husband, Paul DeSantis, a fashion mogul originating from a family-oriented background. When her future in-laws discovered she had been married and had a child, they were of course curious as to why she didn't have custody. Leah then wove a lecherous tale of betrayal that had the DeSantis family funding her pursuit of Millie. On the plus side, the rest of the DeSantis family practically worshipped little Millie, but they only saw her a few times a year, and in the meantime father and daughter missed one another tremendously.

By the time he had finished his tale, I was sniffling, trying hard to suppress the sob that wanted to escape for the pair. I had thought Leah and Jake were two peas in a pod, but now I felt like Leah was Satan while Jake was just a lower level demon.

The bells of the old courthouse clock began to chime, informing us of the time. I couldn't believe we had been walking and talking for over two hours. With an apologetic smile, Edward began to lead me where the car was supposed to be waiting.

Edward carefully navigated the Range Rover through the snowy streets, finally bringing the vehicle to rest in front of the lodge. He shut off the engine before turning to me with nervous eyes.

"I just have to say one thing, Bella and then I won't ever bring up such a painful subject to you again. Jacob Black is an idiot. Anybody who would throw away an amazing woman like you is the biggest buffoon to walk the planet."

I know my face blushed scarlet as I blinked back tears. "Th..thank you, Edward, but the same goes for you. You are an amazing man and the best father I've ever seen. I didn't think men like you existed. I keep expecting to wake up half frozen in the snow bank, waiting for someone to save me and the past two days to be a dream. Thank you, Edward. Thank you for giving me back a little faith in the male species again."

His cheeks pinked up to match mine before his hand slowly moved across the seat to where mine rested. With trembling fingers, he wrapped his hand around mine and glanced up to me with anxious eyes. He relaxed a little when I smiled at him.

"Bella, will you please join us tomorrow for Christmas? I'd really like to spend more time with you, as would the rest of the family."

I nibbled on my lower lip with a sigh. "I don't know, Edward. I don't want to be a spare wheel."

Edward scoffed, running his hand through his hair. "Please, the way my daughter has attached herself to you, I'm thinking I'd be more the spare wheel than you."

I chuckled, shaking my head before my thoughts drifted to sitting alone in my room on Christmas day, with nothing more to do than missing my kids. I licked my lips before looking back up at Edward with a small nod.

"Okay."

His eyes lit up much like his daughter's as a bright smile spread across his face. "Okay?"

I chuckled and nodded again. "Yes, okay…I'll be there."

My breath caught in my chest as Edward lifted my hand held it to his lips. There was a layer of material separating my skin from his lips thanks to my gloves, but it didn't stop the spark from making my heart flutter.

Seconds later, he was gone, appearing at my door to open it and offer me his hand to help me out. He didn't let it go as he led me to the front door, through the entry way and all the way to my room. He waited for me to unlock it before pausing in the doorway looking down at me with an expression that unleashed an army of butterflies in my stomach.

"Thank you for sharing our holiday with us, Bella. I look forward to getting to know you better tomorrow."

He leaned down slowly, placed a soft kiss on my cheek before squeezing my hand again and then turning to walk away. I watched him leave, still trying to catch my breath and slow my speeding thoughts. I hadn't felt anything like this since I was a kid with Jake. I wasn't sure how to handle it, but I couldn't say I didn't like it either. I fell asleep that night to the repeated memory of Edward's soft lips on my cheek, my heart fluttering with each and every reminiscence.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: On the fourth day of Christmas Restoration, A Cullen Wannabe gave to meee….more drama to see….**_

_**Thanks to AgoodWITCH for working hard to get these back so I can keep to schedule. Also thanks to Deena and Sarah for prereading these. Enjoy Day 4!**_

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**Chapter 4**

I sat up hot and sweaty, awaking from an endless stream of dreams of Edward; Edward's lips on mine, Edward's hands on my body, Edward's heat pressing in on me from our compressed bodies. It was better than porn and probably even less realistic. Edward was amazing and sweet, but as I tossed and turned the night before struggling to find my sleep, reality hit with painful clarity.

Edward and I both had responsibilities. We lived fifteen hours apart from each other, which means no sustainable relationship was possible and neither of us were the casual type. Hell, I was already halfway in love with him and we'd only held hands and kissed on the cheek. It was just one big recipe for disaster when reality would encroach upon us when the half fairytale, half nightmare week was over and the kids and I would return home to our lives.

I rolled over with a whimper as I curled in on myself. It had been so long since I had felt anything like an attachment to a man, and even longer since I actually felt a deeper intimate connection with one. I tried to pretend my marriage with Jake was happy, but the truth was, he had drifted away from me long before all hell broke loose, I just didn't want to see it. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to have a really intense conversation with a man, to feel the butterflies and the heart palpitations at the lightest of touches from another person. I didn't want to walk away from this amazing thing that was happening. My chest ached at the very thought, but I was a realist. I could never allow anything to happen with Edward because we simply did not have a future. Now I would just have to convince myself of that while in his presence later this morning.

I quickly showered and dressed, setting the alarm on my phone to remind me to go get on my webcam to watch the kids open my presents as I had arranged with Jake. We had set it up a month ago that he could talk to the kids on webcam whenever he wished. He rarely took advantage of the offer, but I'd be damned if I was going to give up at least seeing how happy my presents made them this year.

I pocketed the phone before walking down the hallway to the great room where the Cullen family were already amassed in front of the fireplace, stockings plucked from where the hung along the mantle and sitting in the floor in front of each of them. In front of an open seat next to Edward sat a red and white stocking with a holly leaf and Ho, Ho, Ho stitched on the cuff. I glanced from it to Edward, pausing as he smiled brightly at me.

With a deep crimson blush, I crossed the room to sit awkwardly next to Edward. I couldn't believe that they had gone through the trouble of buying me a stocking and filling it, but that wasn't the least of it. To my shock, amazement, and chagrin since I couldn't reciprocate, there were three neatly wrapped packages under the giant decorated blue spruce for me.

I smiled as I opened the soft sweatshirt with the town's emblem of the word Everwood sitting before a ridge of jagged mountain tops capped with snow and lined with greenery. It was such a sweet thing to do and I loved it. I really loved everything about Everwood. I would most certainly wear it with pride, not that there were very many occasions to wear such a heavy garment back home. I hummed enthusiastically as I stole a bon bon from the sampler box of chocolates from the town's bakery and chocolatier that had also been waiting for me. I made a note to make sure to stop by that place some day before I headed home.

The third gift was the one that brought tears to my eyes. A construction paper angel decorated in golden glitter and small white feathers glued upon the wings stared up at me. Upon the dress of the angel in the lopsided handwriting of a small child was written, "The Angels brought you to us this year, because nobody should be alone on Christmas. I hope you come next year if your kids are with their Daddy too. Love, Millie."

I carefully picked up the angel, stroking its wings gently before looking up at her with a teary smile. "Thank you so much, Millie. It's beautiful and I will treasure it always."

Millie ran over and hugged me as I glanced over at her pride filled father. He looked at me with an expression that told me that he had no clue about the gift, but he was quite pleased. I smirked as I realized this was probably the special project her grandma had suggested before they left us in town to explore the night before.

Millie hugged her Dad before hugging me again and darting off to the kitchen to help her Grandma leaving Edward and I alone in the great room. Edward opened his mouth to say something when my phone began to play Cheryl Crow's version of Sweet Child O Mine. I jumped, shutting off the phone.

"I'm sorry. I have a webcam date to watch my kids open their presents in five minutes. I'll be back in time for lunch okay?"

He looked disappointed, yet understanding. I got up and headed for the hallway before pausing to lean against the doorframe. "Uh…if you don't have anything else to do right now, you can come along and see them. I can introduce them to the man that saved them from having to live with Jake and Nessie full time."

I giggled as his brow crinkled worriedly. "Are you sure?"

I nodded with a smile before gesturing him to follow and practically sprinting to my room. I was so excited to see my babies I could barely stand it. Edward chuckled behind me as he followed. I rushed through the door, flying to the desk where my laptop sat, opening it, and rushing to log in. Within a couple of minutes, I was logged into skype, waiting patiently for Jake to sign in.

Eight o'clock came and went with no familiar chime indicating I'd been pinged and no sign in from Jake. I began to fidget, trying to be patient and not get angry, but lord knows that if the roles had been reversed, Jake would be throwing a hissy fit by now. Edward tried to reassure me that it would be fine, but when ten after eight rolled around, my patience had run out.

I picked up my cell and dialed, waiting for Jake to answer his cell. It went to voicemail. I left a message, then sent a text. Five more minutes later, I decided to try the house phone. As a rule, I only saved the house phone for a last resort, but I was getting anxious. I resisted the urge to throw the phone against the wall when I got the automated voice saying that the phone number was no longer in service. The Jackass could have at least let me know that was the case if I needed him in an emergency.

I tried Jake's phone twice before I finally broke down and called the one number I swore I would never call, but kept just in case of extreme emergency. I tried to steady my breathing as I waited for Nessie to pick up her cell phone. When the line finally was answered, it wasn't the whiney snarky voice I expected, nor the deep bass of Jake's voice that met my ears…no it was the sniffling cries of my son, his sister sobbing in the background while two adults yelled and an infant caterwauled.

"Mommy?"

"Braxton? What's going on baby? Why are you answering Nessie's phone?"

Before Braxton could answer I heard the harpy screaming in the background. "I DON'T WANT THEM HERE! THEY ARE YOUR BRATS, NOT MINE. I HAVE A CHILD TO TAKE CARE OF; I REFUSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURS!"

If it were possible for anger to allow a person to teleport like they did in Star Trek, I'd have flown electronically through the phone to deck them both and take my kids out of there that very second.

"YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT NESSIE? YOU THINK I'M NOT STRUGGLING HERE? YOU KNEW WHEN YOU MARRIED ME THAT I HAD BAGGAGE, SO YOU JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO. DON'T YOU GET THAT?"

Edward gave me a worried look when my face turned purple as I flew around the room grabbing my purse and coat and throwing on my snow boots. He gestured he'd be right back and dashed out of the room.

"Braxton, I am going to be there as soon as I can. It's going to take about an hour, but I promise I will take you home with me. You and Bailey go into the room your things are and start putting all your clothes and toys in your bags. Get your coats, gloves, and boots ready so we can put them on when I get there. I don't care what the court says, I'm taking you home with me. Don't worry, baby."

"Promise, Mommy?"

I sniffled. "I promise, baby. I'm going to get you somewhere you'll feel safe, I promise. If we're lucky, we'll get back here in time to have Christmas dinner and you can play with Millie. Won't that be nice?"

Braxton sniffled as the room grew quieter.

"I'm coming, baby. I love you and your sister. I'll be there as soon as I can. Hang up and start packing, Baby and try to stay out of their way."

Edward met me in the hall, metal keys hanging from his fingers. "I heard enough to know you need to get over there. What's the deal?"

"It's a long story, but I have to go get them." I cursed and spun, "My car is still in the shop isn't it?"

Joe had dropped off my car at the town mechanic, but between the holidays and the expensive repairs my car needed, it was going to be another couple of days at least before I had it back again.

Edward shook his head. "Yeah, but it's fine. I'll take you in the Range Rover."

I shook my head, tears flowing again. "No. I can't take you away from Millie and your family for Christmas."

Edward denied me as he slid on his Ranger coat. "It's already settled. Mom's officially declared Christmas Dinner will wait for us, although if things go smoothly we should be back in time anyway. An hour there, half an hour to an hour to sort things out, and an hour back would have us getting here by 12:30 anyway. We have plenty of time. Besides, having your kids here would make you happier which would make us all happier and Millie is thrilled to meet your kids.

I sniffled, with a nod as he led me to the Ranger Rover. "Th…Thank you, Edward. I…I'm so upset it wouldn't have been good for me to drive."

He opened the door and helped me in before kissing the hand he used to assist me. "I know and I'm happy to do it. We'll be there in two shakes, just you watch."

With that, Edward quickly crossed to the car and got behind the wheel. I looked over in panic as I remembered something important. "We need to stop by the auto shop to get my car seats. Bay needs a five point harness and Braxton has to use a booster."

He smiled and winked gesturing toward the back. "My Mom is always prepared. She had a feeling we might need Millie's old car seat, so she had me install it when she got up this morning. Braxton can use her booster."

I nodded and melted in my seat, willing my adrenaline soaked body to relax a bit. I wouldn't be fully relaxed until I had my babies back in my arms, but I needed to slow my heart before I gave myself a heart attack.

Before we left town, I pulled out my cell to call my lawyer before I lost signal. According to him, I still didn't have legal grounds to insist they leave with me, but it sounded as though Nessie might be willing to talk Jake into allowing them to leave the home. As long as we stayed nearby so he could see them during the allotted time, the courts would not consider it a violation as long as all parties agreed.

Edward's winter driving skills were far superior to mine, but it still seemed like an eternity before we pulled into the drive in front of the middle class, ranch-style house with the bay window in front. I rushed up the drive to knock on the front door as Edward followed anxiously. I could tell he wasn't sure if he should come or not, but a beckoning nod from me had him following a few steps behind.

It took three loud knocks before the door finally opened, an angry looking Nessie standing in front of the door with a squalling bundle in her arms. "What are YOU doing here?"

I balled my hands into fists in the pockets of my jacket as I willed myself to stay calm and collected. Flipping out on her wouldn't help matters.

"I called earlier when Jake didn't sign into skype so I could see the kids open presents. After calling and texting him, I found out the home phone was disconnected, and then tried yours. The two of you were fighting, but when Braxton saw it was me, he answered. I told him I would be here as soon as I could."

She snarled, apparently unhappy that he answered her phone, but I could see realization dawning in her eyes. She was recognizing the opportunity presenting itself. She glanced in confusion at Edward, her eyes widening at his Ranger coat, before begrudgingly opening the door for us to enter.

I tried to steady my breathing as I saw the mess in the house. It really looked like a cyclone had hit it, and yet very few of the items making it look as such belonged to my kids. There were dirty bottles on the end tables alongside two bundled, apparently dirty diapers. Baby toys and blankets were strewn across every surface. The Christmas presents were still resting under the one step above Charlie Brown status tree, unwrapped and apparently untouched.

Jake stormed out of the back of the house, his eyes narrowed and livid. He stalked to loom over me, but he had never really scared me. I propped my hands on my hips and glared up at him, not backing down an inch.

"You missed my skype date with the kids. I finally got them on Nessie's phone and heard your fight. I want to take them back to the B&B. You can still spend time with them, but they won't have to endure all the fighting and the baby being fussy. I'll bring them to you if I have to, but I want them with me Jake. You aren't happy with them here, she's not happy with them here, and they aren't happy being here knowing they aren't wanted. Please Jake, just let me take them."

I could see the battle in his eyes. It wasn't that he didn't want them to go. I could tell he'd much rather have the break. His resistance was much more just the fact that he didn't want to be inadequate. Typical Jake was having trouble admitting it was too much for him and that he was failing.

He opened his mouth to respond when the sounds of my babies yelling for me came down the hall. Seconds later, I was nearly knocked over with the force of the two of them jumping into my arms at the same time and holding on so tight. I took a deep breath and hugged them to me tightly, kissing both of their cheeks and talking softly to them. Jake said something, but they ignored him, clinging to me, arms and legs suctioned to me like tentacles. They were both in dirty clothes that they had apparently been wearing for more than one day since they had two different lunch item stains on their shirts. Bailey's long dark hair was stringy and obviously hadn't been washed since I dropped them off and Braxton's face was covered in what appeared to be pop tart residue. They both looked exhausted and miserable.

I looked up to see Jake eyeing Edward venomously before glaring back at me. "You sure work fast. You've been here three days and you already have a new boyfriend?"

I raised a challenging eyebrow, because if Edward were by boyfriend, he definitely had no room to talk. It was none of his business anyway. "Not that it's any of your business if he were, but actually, if you'd bothered to listen to my story on the phone the other night, I got in an accident on my way to the B&B. Edward found me, had my car towed, and then took me to the B&B, which happens to be owned by his parents. My car is still in the shop, so Edward brought me to the kids."

Jake eyed him before rolling his eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm not sure you're allowed to take the kids. This is my court mandated time. I don't want to lose that."

I rolled my eyes before moving to sit down on the couch with my monkeys still attached. "I told you I'd bring them to you when you wanted to see them if I had to. My car should be fixed in two days. Until then, I'm just over in Everwood. You could come see them there. I already called my lawyer and he said as long as you have access to them whenever you want them then it's fine. I just don't want my babies to suffer all week because this is too much. When the baby is older and has outgrown her Colic, then maybe it will go better for all of you, but for now, it's just too much. Please, Jake."

As if on cue, both my mini negotiators turned their big brown eyes on him in a maneuver they learned from Puss In Boots. "Please, Daddy?" Braxton cooed as Baileys came out more "Pwease, Addy?"

Jake's eyes darted back and forth between them before he sighed. "Okay, okay. We were going to take them to Nessie's family party, but I'm assuming Paul Bunyan skipped out on a family thing to bring you here. How about if I at least get to watch them open the presents from me and then you guys can load up and go."

Nessie sighed behind us, drawing all eyes to her. "By the time you do all of that we're going to be late."

Jake stood up and walked over to her, an apologetic look on her face which pissed me off. My own world was turned upside down this holiday to accommodate them, yet she can't be a few minutes late to her family thing? You would think that after a while I would get used to her selfishness, but somehow I never did.

Jake rubbed her arms and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you go ahead with Bianca? I'll come over once we're all done. Tell them to start dinner without me if they have to."

Nessie began to whine as I glanced at an annoyed looking Edward. He glanced at me. As we locked eyes I rolled mine and he smirked behind his hand. My kids had buried her faces back in my neck after they had gotten their way and I rubbed their backs in slow gently circles as we waited for Jake the appease his fourth kid.

It took fifteen minutes for Jake to help Nessie get everything together and load the car before he finally returned to us. The kids were reluctant to leave my lap but finally did thanks to the lure of gifts. They liked the fancy $100 Robot and the Doll house full of furniture, dolls, clothes and accessories, that all appeared too small for a two year old and many posing a real choking hazard. I'd have to go through and weed out the unsafe items before I let Bailey play with them.

After they opened Jake's gifts, he helped them gather their things to pack while Edward and I carried out the presents I had sent for them to open this morning. We had a special gift opening before we left Phoenix, but I wasn't sure how well Jake would do with presents and I wanted to make sure they had some things to open and knew I was thinking of them Christmas morning.

An hour and a half after we arrived, we finally pulled away, my now freshly dressed kids tucked safely in the back seat. I knew I was tense having them away from me, but I really had no idea how tense I truly had been before I had them back with me. They seemed to take to Edward pretty quickly answering his questions as we drove along the road. Within fifteen minutes, they were both out cold, my own eyes falling closed soon after. Before I knew it, we were back at the B&B.

The whole Cullen clan came out to greet us and help us inside as my children grew shy again, clinging to me tightly, although they did both smile and wave at Millie. When I asked Esme if there'd be time for me to bathe them before dinner she said it would take at least half an hour to get everything set out. I thanked her before carrying my two monkeys to my room. Edward and Carlisle carried in the things and left us alone.

We chatted as I quickly bathed the kids, asking them how things had gone. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to beat Jake to a pulp during the conversation, I'd have been rich, but I was more grateful they were with me now. I hoped that this would work out better for everyone.

Once they were clean and dry, I tugged out the adorable little outfits I had bought them for Christmas, which Jake hadn't bothered to put on them. I smiled as Bailey did little circles in front of the mirror in her dress with the plaid bodice and little green velvet skirt with bits of green tulle peeking out beneath and matching long sleeve bolero. I had put a matching green bow in her hair and put on her black patent leather mary janes. She looked so cute they could put her on the cover of a magazine.

For Braxton I had purchased a red button-down shirt with matching red and black striped tie. I helped him tie the knot before helping him slide into his patent leather dress shoes and comb his hair. He looked so handsome it brought tears to my eyes.

Both kids held my hands as we walked down the hallway to the great room where the dining table was already set. As we walked in Esme cooed over how adorable they were before directing me to a seat, with settings on either side for my munchkins. We settled in as I smiled at Edward seated across from me. My kids were on their best behavior during dinner, of which I was ever grateful. They started out shy, but by the end of the meal, they were warming up, especially toward Millie.

The second the final bite of dessert was eaten, they dashed off with Millie to play in the sitting area with their new toys, both excited to open their presents from me. I smiled as I watched them dash off before helping Esme with the dishes. She tried to rebuff me, saying I was a guest, but when I argued that she had allowed her son to help me on Christmas so it was the least I could do, she finally allowed it.

When Esme and I escaped the kitchen, I smiled as I saw Carlisle sitting by the tree, all three kids sitting on Edward's lap in the floor with awestruck faces as he read to them the story of Christmas from a picture book. Edward smiled down at them as the three shared his lap without any argument. When Carlisle finished, all the kids begged for another one until I cleared my throat with a smile. Five heads spun toward me, all wearing similar bright smiles.

I chuckled, "Come on guys; let's not push dear Mr. Carlisle." Three pouty little faces made me chuckle harder as I moved to sit down. My two monkeys immediately left Edward's lap to climb up on the couch with me and cuddle in. I smiled and held them close as we melted together into the leather. The soft lighting of the fireplace and the white lights of the Christmas tree were the only illumination in the room, further enhancing the sense of peace I was feeling. After a moment, Braxton turned to me with his big Puss in Boots eyes.

"Mom? Would you sing us Silent Night?"

I felt my face burn. "I don't know, baby."

He made his eyes bigger, "Pleeeease."

Across the room, I heard the soft voice of Millie. "Please, Miss Bella? I want to hear it too."

I sighed and swallowed before nodded. Braxton cuddled to my side again, resting his head on my chest as I ran my fingers through his hair. I could tell Bailey was almost asleep already from her weight against my side. I took a slow breath and began to sing, closing my eyes and enjoying the music. It had been a tradition with the kids and me. We sing every night before bed, and at Christmas time, our playlist is filled with Christmas music, and their favorite is Silent Night. Thankfully it works pretty good with my Alto range.

By the time I finished all three verses, both my babies were out cold. I kissed their foreheads as I continued to play with their soft, clean hair, so grateful to have them with me, yet really wishing they hadn't had to endure what they did in order for it to be so. I glanced at the tree to see their presents still waiting to be opened with a sigh. They could just as easily open them the next day, as they were clearly exhausted.

After a few quiet moments, Edward came over and offered to carry Braxton to bed for me. He was getting heavy and it was ten times worse when he was dead weight, so I was grateful for the offer. He scooped him into his arms and tucked him against his chest before waiting for me to scoop up Bailey and lead the way to our room.

He lay my son down on the bed and told me he'd wait in the hall for me, giving me time to strip them of their dress clothes and try to get them into jammies for the night before tucking them in. It was a challenge as both of my children slept like the dead. Finally, after a lot of wrestling, I managed to get them both out of their dress clothes and into footed pajamas. They sighed and curled together on the bed, apparently content to be back with me.

I smiled and kissed their foreheads before tucking them warmly under the covers. I turned on the light in the bathroom so they could see if they woke up and crept to the door to check on Edward. True to his word, he sat against the wall, waiting patiently for me to come out. When I stepped into the hall, leaving the door cracked so I could hear if my kids awoke, he looked up with a bright smile, his eyes warm and twinkling.

"You have a beautiful voice, Bella. I don't think I'll ever hear Silent Night again without thinking of you singing it tonight."

I blushed again as I slid down to sit next to him in the hall with an exhausted sigh. "Thank you, Edward, for everything. This entire week would have been a disaster without you and your family. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Edward shook his head lifting his finger toward me with a shake. "No thanks are needed. You don't know this, but you are helping us as much as we are helping you. Millie making you that angel was truer than you could ever know. You and your kids are a blessing to us. They're great kids, Bella, truly, and you are an amazing Mom."

I licked my lips and wiped at a few tears that escaped my eye. "Thank you. I'm doing the best I can at least. I hope it's enough."

Edward reached over and took my hand, brushing his thumb across the back of my knuckles. "I wish Millie had a mother like you. Your kids are so lucky to have you. You are caring and loving, and I have no clue where you get your strength and self-control, because I wanted to beat the hell out of your ex and the brat he's married to."

I snorted a giggle causing Edward to chuckle beside me. "I didn't get it before, but now that I've seen them I REALLY don't get it. How could he have left you for HER? It makes no sense at all."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms. "To quote him, she's the soulmate he never knew existed, the other half that makes him whole. I was a good wife, but she's the other half of him."

Edward scoffed, "Well that I guess I see. They're so alike it's disturbing, and not in a good way. I've never seen such selfish people."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, I think he's already reaping what he's sown if this week was any indication. She's his to live with, not mine. I just have to put up with her during visitations and stuff. He's the one that will have to put up with her 24/7."

Edward laughed hard at that. "I've been where he is. I think he's in for a rude awakening…especially since he's not selfless enough to work around her."

I laughed again, grateful for the release. "Yeah, the impending fireworks might be interesting to see."

We both chuckled lost in our own thoughts before Edward lifted my hand again, holding it on his bent knees and examining it as his fingers drifted over my knuckles. He glanced up at me with a shy smile.

"Bella? I'm going to be on duty again tomorrow night, but I was wondering if you'd want to do something with me before I have to go in. Maybe we could have lunch together and I could show you around a little more? Mom would be more than happy to watch the kids while they play with Millie for you."

I swallowed, my heart aching in a beautifully painful way as the butterflies that had been gently fluttering in my stomach as he played with my hand instantly flew into a frenzy. I bit my lip as I gazed up at him, my heart pounding. "If the kids are okay with it, then that sounds wonderful to me actually."

Edward smiled, standing up and pulling me to stand in front of him. With slow movements, his lifted his hand to tuck the hair on my right side behind my ear. I struggled to breathe, as he stood so close. I wanted to lean forward and kiss him, just one time so I would know and not always wonder what it would be like, but at the same time being too timid to make that move first. My whole body was in a panic, but what rang out loudest of all was my fear that maybe I wasn't ready for this.

Edward's thumb drifted over my cheekbone softly, as if he were memorizing my features before he leaned in slowly to kiss the soft swell of my cheek. My breath hitched at the contact. It had felt good the night before, but tonight it was as if his lips were made of electricity, the warm humming buzz shooting between us setting my heart afire.

When Edward pulled back, his eyes were deep and serious as he breathed in a deep, slow cadence that made his chest rise and fall steadily. I'm not sure what came over me, but after a few seconds that had seemed like an eternity, my hands slid up his shoulders to his neck, pulling him down toward me as I tipped onto my toes to reach him, brushing my lips against his. My knees buckled at the sensation as his arm reached around my waist, supporting me and pulling me close to him. The heat from his body holding me so close felt so much better than what my imagination had conjured the night before, his lips so much softer and delicious that it made me moan.

We stayed wrapped in warmth as our hearts pounded against one another through our clothes, our lips moving together, yet not opening to deepen the kiss. Maybe it was fear, or perhaps self preservation, knowing that once that threshold was crossed my heart would be lost to the man forever, but I pulled away before we took that last intimate step. My face burned with my blush as I gazed up at the delicious sea glass green of his irises. Our lips no longer met, but our bodies had yet to part as I stood there in his grasp, not wanting to let go, but knowing I needed to. This was all too sudden, too soon.

Edward took a deep breath before moving in closer again. I was torn between wanting more than anything to feel his lips on mine again, and my tenuous grasp on that self preservation instinct when a small cry from my room broke us from our bubble.

I pushed back from Edward with an apology and promise to see him in the morning, before dashing into the room, closing the door behind me, and wrapping my baby girl in my arms. She curled in close and was quickly fast asleep, but I held onto her for a long time afterward.

I had never been more scared in my life. So many things made this such a bad idea and I had been burned by love once before, I honestly didn't think I'd ever have the faith to try again, but something about Edward made me move without question, act without double thinking, feel without resistance. The question was would he be the one being I could trust to restore my faith in men enough to give love a second chance, or would he break me just like Jake? Could I survive the aftermath of it if it was the latter? Was this even worth the risk?


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note: Sorry lovelies, for the slight delay. I've had a busy day helping hubs put together my Christmas Present. I am the proud new owner of a very nice executive desk for my own little writing central. I now have all my computer equipment together that I need as well as a nice little bookshelf where got to file my book on the top shelf amongst my favorite authors, Stephenie Meyer, Cassandra Clare, and Suzanne Collins. Yes, I know they are way out of my league, but it was still fun to do! LOL! **_

_**Thanks to my beta, AgoodWITCH who I have probably pushed a little more than I meant to with my chapter a day posting schedule. Tomorrow will be our last post until the week after Christmas and probably won't post until tomorrow night. I also want to thank my prereaders, Deena and Sarah for giving me their opinions. **_

_**Okay, enough of the chitchat because on the fifth day of Christmas Restoration, you get a first date :)**_

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**Chapter 5**

Before I opened my eyes, I heard the giggles and too loud whispers. I suppressed my smile and played possum as the kids talked about waking me up with a surprise. The whispers grew closer and then grew quiet and I only waited a half beat before sitting up with a loud growl and grabbing my two monkeys around the waist to drag them on top of me so I could tickle them.

"You have awoken the great tickle monster and now you must beg for mercy!" I winced slightly at how loud my voice came out, but it was too great a moment to pass up. The happy giggles of my children were the best salve for my weary and confused soul.

Finally after a few gasped 'Please stop's, I let my kiddos up, hugging them to my chest with a sigh. They cuddled up for a millisecond before my son's ever quick mind remembered what they had forgotten the day before.

"Mom! We forgot to open our presents. Can we go open them now, pleeease?"

Bailey knelt next to him, her long dark hair bunched up in the back in a tangled mess that would no doubt lead to a few tears when we had to comb it out later. "Pweeeeese."

I acted as if I was pondering it before smiling brightly at them. "Sure! Let's go…but you have to stay quiet. The others might still be sleeping."

They nodded and tiptoed down the hallway like little tiny burglars you might see in an old black and white cartoon. I suppressed a giggle as they shushed each other and tiptoed on. Once we reached the great room, however, all bets were off as they squealed and ran to the tree. They knew all the presents there were for them and couldn't wait to open them.

I jumped and turned when I heard a small chuckle behind me. Esme stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her apron already on and her hands dusted with white flour that I hoped to high heaven meant we'd have fresh CinEsme buns for breakfast. My mouth watered just thinking about it.

"Sorry, Esme…they're very excited to open their presents."

Esme waved me off with a smile back at the kids. "No worries. This house was made for children's laughter. I hope someday to have a lot more of it around here. We get our Millie far too infrequently for my tastes. You enjoy, I need to get back to my kneading."

I nodded before turning back to see Braxton already ripping the paper off his first present. His eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open to find a brand new skateboard he'd been begging me to buy him for months in his hands.

"Now remember, Mister. Safety first…helmet and pads at all times and no riding in the street. You can ride on our driveway or in the park when I can take you and NOWHERE else."

He ran over and hugged me around the waist, the board in his hand digging into my lower back. "I promise, Mom. Cross my heart."

I ruffled his hair and hugged him back before turning in time to hear Bailey squeal with glee. "Elmo!" She hugged the red doll whose singing would no doubt eventually lead to my loss of sanity, her face glowing with joy. She'd been going through an Elmo phase for a while now and it seemed the ideal choice. From the look on her face, I had been right.

The rest of the presents were just books, which they were excited for, but both of their interests were far more focused on their new prized possessions. I was surprised when a hand appeared over my shoulder holding a large mug of steaming coffee. I looked up and smiled at Edward as he gazed at my gleeful children. I couldn't help but love the fact that he seemed to be just as enamored with them as I was with his Millie.

Once I finished the brew, I made the kids help clean up our wrapping paper mess and carry their new gifts to our room. We changed into our day clothes and rushed back to the great room, following the beckoning scent of Esme's heavenly confection. The kids hadn't even tried them yet, but were excited nonetheless.

After we finished, I put in my call to Jake to see if he wanted to see the kids. He begged for one more day, saying Nessie and he had a huge blowout the night before and she had taken off leaving him alone with the baby. She had yet to come home and he was worried, plus he didn't have anyone to keep Bianca. I told him it was fine and hoped we could meet up the next day. To be honest, I was relieved. I wasn't sure exactly what game Nessie was playing, but I'd be damned if her little stunts would keep the kids from their Dad completely this week. Hell, as much as I was loathe to do it, I'd even keep her for an hour or two if it meant Jake would have time with my kids. That would have to be an absolute last ditch effort though. There was no way I'd volunteer otherwise.

As soon as breakfast was over, the kids were all playing happily with their toys. Edward walked over to me with nervous eyes. I couldn't blame him after the kiss last night and then my hasty departure, I'd be anxious too. He'd been fine all morning up until now, which warned me what was coming next.

"Hey, Bella," he half whispered as he slid up next to me, his hands tucked in his pockets.

I smiled up at him somewhat warily, my thoughts from the night before weighing heavily on my mind. The smart thing to do would be to use the kids as an excuse not to do this date thing today, because going on it would ultimately just lead to heartache, but then again, I never accused myself of being smart.

"Hey, Edward. How did you sleep last night?"

He smiled and blushed a bit as he examined his shoes with sudden interest, the reaction peaking my curiosity. "It took me a while to get to sleep, but once I did I rested well. How about you?"

I smiled. "Same here. There was a lot to process after the day was done yesterday."

Edward swallowed hard and glanced at me again. His anxiety made my chest hurt. Crap! I didn't want to hurt him either in the short run or in the long run. What I wouldn't give to be clairvoyant and know which path was the best.

"Are you okay? I mean…"

I smiled and reached over to rest a hand on his elbow and looked up into his eyes. "I'm fine. Honestly, it was just an emotional rollercoaster and I'm anxious about everything."

Edward let out a slow breath, staring down at my hand resting on his elbow. With a slow, unsure speed, he removed his right hand from his pocket and rested it on top of mine before raising his eyes to meet mine. "I can understand that. I've been where you are and I've had a lot more time to process it and get used to it all. The custody situation, the divorce, and the way he treated you is all still fresh. You'd be a fool not to be wary, and you are certainly no fool, Isabella Marie Swan-Black."

I bit my lip and nodded staring up into his soft green eyes, so compassionate and understanding. His sweetness of spirit melted the last of the barrier keeping me from going forward with our plans for the day. It was just one date after all…there was nothing wrong with getting to know him a little better.

My lip slid from my teeth to curve into a smile. "I need to talk to the kids about it and make sure they'll be okay staying with Esme. With all that has happened, they're feeling a little insecure and being more clingy than usual. I don't want to put them any more off kilter."

Edward smiled and nodded. "If they feel that way then we'll adjust plans and just take all three kids with us. It'd be fun too, although it would make talking on a more adult level more difficult."

I nodded, tipping up to kiss his cheek chastely. "You are a good man, Edward Cullen. Thank you for being so understanding."

Edward snorted before shaking his head. "Like I said earlier, I've been where you are. I understand more than most anybody." He squeezed my hand under his before releasing it and nodding toward the children.

With a sigh and a shake of my head, I shuffled into the sitting area where they were playing with some of Bailey's new doll house we had dragged out a little earlier. The kids were lost in their own little world, playing house with the little dolls, the girls being motherly while Braxton had the boy dolls dressed up like pirates swashbuckling on the roof. As I watched them play, I was struck by something I hadn't noticed before. Due to Leah's lineage as well as Jake's, all three kids had very similar coloring and the girls' hair was almost identical, Millie's hair being just a few shades darker than Bailey. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that they were all three siblings.

I stared at them in awe at the revelation for a moment before asking Braxton and Bailey to come sit and talk to me. I smiled when Millie dropped her toys and came right along with them. I smiled, pulling her up on the other side of me, Braxton to my right and Bailey on my lap.

"Hey guys, I have a question for you. Mr. Edward wants to take me out to show me more of the area and I was wondering if you would be okay with staying here and playing together with Miss Esme, or if that would make you unhappy."

Braxton looked sort of sad as he looked from me to Edward, to Millie, to Bailey, and then back to me. "I want to stay and play, but I don't want to miss you again, Mom."

I sighed with a nod before turning to Bailey. "What about you, Bailey Grace?"

To my surprise, she looked from me to the dollhouse then back to me and then pointed to the three story plastic mansion. "Dollies!"

I chuckled and kissed her hair. "So you'd be okay if Mommy was gone for a couple of hours?"

She looked at Braxton and Millie before nodding. I smiled and kissed her before putting her down to run back to her dollhouse. Millie followed closely behind to help her. She was doing a great job of helping her dress the dolls and keeping things she thought might be too small out of her reach. For a girl without siblings, she was showing some great big sister instincts.

Once they were gone, I turned back to Braxton who was looking at the girls with longing, but still not willing to leave my side. I shifted him on my lap and made him look at me. "If it's going to really upset you, I won't go, but it won't be for more than a couple of hours and Miss Esme will be here the whole time. Mr. Edward has to work tonight, so it won't be too late. I Promise."

He looked toward Edward with a sigh before looking back at me. "Is he going to be our new stepdad?"

I coughed and about choked on my own spittle. THAT I had not been expecting. "No Braxton, at least not for a very, very long time, if ever. We're just sort of friends right now and we're going to go have lunch together and talk."

"But you like him?"

I sighed and closed my eyes before opening them again. I was not prepared for this conversation and certainly not this soon, but then again for the kids, it probably felt like things happened that quickly with Nessie. We never did tell them how long they had been together…they were too young to deal with all of that. So to them, Dad and Mom divorced and then Dad got married again in a few days, bing, bang, boom.

"Yes, Braxton. He's a very nice man and I like him very much, but right now, we are just getting to know each other and becoming friends. I can't say we won't become more down the road, but we aren't there just yet. Okay?"

He sighed out an okay before getting down to play again, but somewhat halfheartedly. It wasn't until Esme walked in asking if there were any elves who wanted to help her make some sugar cookies that he perked back up again. She said if they worked really hard, then they'd be ready to eat when Edward and I returned before winking my way. Seeing our opportunity, I hugged the kids and promised to be back in a few hours, making Esme promise to call if they needed me, before sliding into my warm overcoat and boots and following Edward out to his Jeep. He opened the door and helped me up with a bright smile before closing the door and crossing to get in next to me. He started the car and then turned to me with a devious expression.

"Well, Miss Bella, are you ready for our date?"

I chuckled nervously as I buckled my seatbelt and tugged it tight across my chest. "Ready as I'll ever be."

He laughed again before putting the car into gear and pushing through the drifted snow with a loud, steady crunch as we exited the driveway, the lodge holding my kids disappearing behind us as he took me into the great white unknown.

Little did I know, the great white unknown was only about five minutes away. I smiled as we pulled down a narrow lane that opened to a large space filled almost entirely by a frozen pond. The pond had a waist high fence painted white, a small shack sitting at one end with a sign hanging overhead. Along the edge closest to where we stood were a few wooden benches, waiting for people to sit while putting on skates and spectators to watch from a safe distance.

As I stood examining the special place Edward had chosen for our day out, he moved to the back of the car, coming back with arms loaded with piles of items. He refused my offer to help with a smirk, carrying his load to the nearest wooden bench and settling them down before turning back to me, in his hands was a pair of puffy snow pants.

"They're Mom's. I wanted you to stay warm while we skate."

My brows crinkled as I stared at the foreign clothing item. "Um, Edward. I'm not sure this is a good idea. Not that I'm disabled, but I'm a desert kid…me and ice don't mix all that well. The only other time I ever tried to ice skate, I fell on my butt so many times I needed to sit on one of those donut pillows for two days afterward thanks to a bruised coccyx."

Edward laughed and shook his head before pushing the puffy pants in my hands. "Come on, Bella. I won't let you fall. I promise."

I took a deep breath, thinking of what it would take for Edward to keep me from taking a spill on the ice. I had sneaking suspicion I was in far more danger of falling harder and faster being that close to him than ice could ever instigate. I stared at him as he smiled down at me before pulling the pants to my chest, a silent acquiescence that made him grin joyfully.

With a wary step, I let Edward lead me to the bench next to his pile. He set a piece of cardboard under my feet before helping me slide out of my snow boots. After that, he had me slide my jean-clad legs awkwardly into the purple snow pants.

Soon, I was bundled from head to toe, feeling for all the world like the kid from A Christmas Story. Of course, when I made that comment it led to Edward throwing back his head and laughing heartily. My heart warmed at the sight as the winter sun that brightened the world but provided little warmth illuminated his hair making the golden bronze in it glimmer. Dear Lord in Heaven, he was beautiful, definitely more beautiful than any guy who had showed any interest in me. It still seemed all so impossible that this man had any interest in me at all. The feeling that I was going to wake up soon, cold and alone in my car returned to the surface.

Once he had finished his bellowing laughter, he moved to the side again, coming back with two pair of ice skates. His were more the type a hockey player might wear, where mine were the dainty boots of a figure skater with the shiny blade and pointy tips at the toe. I struggled with the laces for a bit, before Edward knelt down by my feet.

"May I?"

I blushed but nodded, feeling a fool for having trouble tying my own shoes, while simultaneously excited by him tying them for me somehow. Yeah, I'd become THAT girl. I'm not even sure when it happened, but any excuse for Edward to be close to me just made me want to squeal and dance in place.

Once the skates were secure, he told me to sit still for a second. He used some keys to unlock the shack and disappeared inside. A few minutes later, the song 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year' began to play over the ice from small speakers hidden behind ornamental holly. I was smiling as Edward walked out and offered his hand to help me stand. I shook and tripped twice before we ever even got to the ice as Edward laughed at my expense again while I gave him dirty looks.

"This looks like it's a business or something. Where is everyone?"

Edward smirked down at me as he steadied me, skating backward with perfect grace as I leaned back and forth erratically trying to find my center of gravity. "It's a family hotspot most days, but Mr. Carnie is out of town to visit family, so it's closed for the next few days. I called him up and asked him permission to use it today. I've been known to fill in for him in a pinch before. He was happy to let us borrow it for the day."

I nodded, not even able to smile past the extreme concentration it was taking just to keep myself vertical. After a while, Edward moved beside me, sliding my arm through his and giving me gentle direction to help me skate better. After a few gentle reminders, we were eventually skating arm in arm around the small pond, albeit very slowly. It felt nice to just go slow and enjoy one another.

I took a deep breath of the cool clean air and sighed as I lifted my face to the sky. This was one of those beautiful moments you wanted to savor. When I looked back down again, Edward was smiling at me.

"So, did I do well?"

I smiled and nodded, resting my cheek against his arm with a sigh. "You did wonderful. I've never been on a date like this and I have to say, it's perfect."

We spent the next hour just chatting. He asked me about what my life was like growing up and how I came to be a writer. He seemed sad to hear about my Mom and Dad and their less than perfect parental habits.

Between his questions about me, I asked him about what life was like growing up in Everwood and what it had been like working with the FBI and the Forestry service. I even admitted to have a crush on ranger types after the show with Robert Conrad and his sons in the 80's called High Mountain Rangers. It was cancelled before its first season had concluded, but I still loved it. Robert's son, Shane Conrad, was one of my first celebrity crushes. Of course, this opened me to high ridicule, first for liking the show when it was terribly inaccurate and overly dramatic, quote, the Dukes of Hazzard of the mountains, unquote.

We took a break about an hour and a half in. Edward brought out a tall metal thermos, filled with the most delicious hot cocoa I had ever tasted. In addition, we had cold cut sandwiches, tubes of strawberry yogurt that were obviously Millie's, and a Hershey's Chocolate bar to share. It was the most non-traditional date I had ever been on, and also the most unspeakably perfect. Instead of most first dates, which are all about putting your best foot forward and trying to seem as perfect as possible, we were just us, normal, real.

Our food finished, Edward moved to the shack again, the CD we'd been listening to having come to an end nearly half an hour before. He started a new disk that began with Jason Mraz's version of Winter Wonderland and pulled me up again to skate with him, except this time he didn't skate beside me as before. This time he skated backwards in front of me and held my hands, leading me along a little faster than I had been able to bring myself to skate the first time we had been on the ice.

My eyes must have been comically wide, because Edward smiled wider and gripped my hands tighter. "Trust me, Bella. I won't let you fall."

My next thought came unbidden and unfortunately out loud because a second later Edward had stopped, grabbing me as I slammed into his chest and holding me in his arms.

"What did you say?"

My eyes grew wider when I realized what he'd heard. I stammered before he cocked his head.

"When you said 'I've fallen already,' did you mean?" His questions trailed off, but it didn't need completed. I knew what he was asking, but I didn't know what to say. I blinked up at him, my heart pounding and my eyes stinging as the songs changed again.

As Mariah Carey began the slow intro to 'All I Want for Christmas,' the tears began to well. "Yes, I said it and it's true, but…" I wiped at my tears before looking nervously at Edward. "I was just thinking about it all last night, after our kiss. It was wonderful…the most wonderful kiss I've ever had in fact, but aren't we setting ourselves up for heartache? I mean, how often do these things work? Your life is here. My life with my kids is in Phoenix. I just…when can it be anything more than a lot of missing and longing with brief interruptions of enjoyment? How long can we survive that before we end up falling apart and breaking my heart completely? Because it would, Edward, to have an amazing man like you in my life and then lose him would shatter what's left of me. I…I'm not sure I can risk that."

Edward was breathing hard as his hand slid around to the small of my back to brace me better as one of my skates slid and I struggled to stay up, his eyes staring so intently, it felt like he was seeing straight to the center of my heart. "Please, Bella. Please don't give up on us before we have the chance to start." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and my heart pulsated in my chest for him. "I know you're scared. Your divorce is still fresh and I'm sure it makes it even scarier for you, but I'm afraid too. It's been six years since my wife left me, four since she divorced me, and the fear is nearly paralyzing at times to feel so much for another human being, to open myself to the potential for more heartbreak, but Bella, I am not Jake and you are not Leah. In a few short days, I've already connected more with you than I did after years with Leah. I don't want to rush you. I'll wait however long you need me to, but I'm not willing to give all of this up on what _might_ happen. Anything worth having in this life requires work, and I'll do whatever it takes for you to give me…give US a chance. Please, Bella."

My tears were rolling now as I slid a hand around his back to help keep myself upright while the other slid up to cup the back of his head, pulling him slowly down toward me. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest when our lips met, parting within seconds to share a single breath before my tongue slid out to taste his lower lip. Mariah continued to sing as our tongues tangled softly and sensually, Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me, lifting me slightly as he held me tightly against him, not out of necessity, but out of desire.

We broke apart long enough to catch a few breaths before falling together again, and as we kissed in the middle of the brisk winter's day, I suddenly felt as if my life were a page pulled from a beautiful romance novel. For a split second, my life felt perfect and I wanted to just stay in that moment.

Our needful kisses stretched on and on, until we eventually softened them. We both breathed in and out slowly as we stared into one another's eyes, one of Edward's hands leaving my back to drift up to caress my cheek and jaw.

"I don't want to leave," he mumbled before kissing the apple of my cheek he had just traced with his thumb.

I sighed and bit my lip. "Me either, but reality calls. You have work and I need to get back to my kids before they get worried. After Jake, they need to know that they can depend on me to keep my word."

Edward smiled softly, his thumb drifting over my bottom lip as he watched it intently. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, Bella Swan."

I smiled at the fact that he left off my married name. If it weren't for the kids, I would have changed it back during the divorce, but they had enough things changing. I honestly didn't think they needed to have to adjust to anything else.

"I know what you mean, Edward Cullen, because I think the same about you."

Edward slowly lowered his lips to mine again, caressing mine in an almost worshipful manner before reluctantly leading me back to where our belongings waited for us. After he helped me sit down and take off my skates, he made his way back to the shack to shut everything down while I struggled to free myself of his mother's snow pants and get my snow boots back on my feet. He returned soon after to change back into his shoes before allowing me to help him load the car back up. With one last wistful glance at the skating rink, we climbed back into the car to return to reality, but for as long as I lived, I would never forget my perfect date with him in that special place.

Edward held my hand all the way home, kissing the back a couple of times before we finally pulled in front of the lodge. After shutting off the engine, Edward turned to me, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I sincerely hope we can do this again a time or two more before you have to go home."

I smiled and nodded, agreeing instantly.

He took in a deep breath and smiled before caressing my cheek again with his thumb, the movements sending warming tingles straight to my heart. "I also know you're planning to go home before New Year's Eve, but I was hoping that maybe, if you didn't have something to rush back to, that perhaps you could stay another day or two in order to celebrate Millie's birthday with us. I know she'd love to have you and your kids there, and I'd kill to have a little more time with you before you go home. Would you be willing to at least consider it?"

I lifted my hand to his cheek and cupped it softly before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. "Let me think about it. Braxton's school starts back up just two days after New Year's, and I was hoping to get back to recuperate first, but that was before I knew that there would be a reason I would want to stick around. Let me make a few calls to see if responsibilities can be taken care of before I give you my answer."

He took in a deep breath as his eyes shimmered with hope. "That's all I can ask."

We shared a couple more soft, loving kisses before Edward got out and rushed around the car to help me down. I snuggled into his chest and savored his warmth a few minutes before we finally turned to walk up toward the lodge hand in hand. Before we even touched the bottom step leading to the porch, the door flung open and three hyper kids came running out to jump into our arms.

"We missed you, Mom," Braxton yelled in what I could only guess to be a sugar rush induced volume, "but we had so much fun with Miss Esme! She's awesome!"

I ruffled his hair as Bailey squeezed my neck tighter, unwilling to allow me to put her down. I smiled over at Edward who had Millie on his hip. He smiled back at me before gesturing for me to lead the way into the house as our three children chattered over one another to tell us about all the exciting adventures they had while we were gone. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, savoring the moment with joy. I hoped that from that point on my children and I would always be this happy.

We spent what was left of the afternoon and evening playing with the kids in the living room before Edward was finally forced to go get ready to work his twelve hour shift. The kids were busy helping Esme make a batch of monkey bread as I snuck off through the path behind the lodge to find Edward's small house tucked in the woods. I could see him inside tucking his needed items into his belt before turning to put on his coat. He jumped at the sound of my knock on the door, but his surprise quickly turned into a bright smile to find me standing on the front porch.

"I didn't expect to see you."

I smiled and curled my arms closer to my body to protect myself from the bitter cold. The clouds had come in after we returned to the lodge and even I could tell that snow was going to start falling again soon.

"I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to tell you yes."

He furrowed his brow. "Yes?"

I chuckled, cocking my head. "Yes."

His eyes grew wide before they began to twinkle, a bright smile spreading across his face at the same time. "You mean…New Year's?"

I nodded again. "Yes."

I was taken by surprise as he swept me up in his arms and pulled me into his house, shutting the door behind him with his foot. His lips found mine as soon as he swept me up and continued to devour me hungrily as he held me against the wall.

Eventually he broke away, breathing hard and resting his forehead against mine, that beautiful smile still on his face. "Thank you, Bella."

I shook my head slightly. "No, Edward. Thank. You."

We shared a few more kisses before Edward walked me back up to the lodge, dropping me off in the doorway with a couple more sweet kisses before jumping into his jeep and driving off into the now dark night as large snowflakes began to fall silently in his wake. I sent up a silent prayer that he would be kept safe before turning to go back into the lodge to help our kids polish off the goodies they made in my absence.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note: Last Chapter until after Christmas Guys…hope you enjoy. BTW…I'm writing Ch 8 at this very moment. It's going to be massive and citrusy :)**_

_**Thanks to my beta, AgoodWITCH who pushed herself to meet my deadline. Also thanks to Deena and Sarah for prereading. **_

_**I hope you all have a very safe and Merry Christmas! I'll see you next week…probably Tuesday, or so I hope.**_

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**Chapter 6**

I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face the rest of the evening. When it came time to lay down with the kids, it was still on my face as my mind replayed my date with Edward over and over. Was it possible it could work? It sure felt genuine and substantial, but at the same time, we were still living in the Everwood bubble. The real test would come when we went home.

I tossed and turned for a good two hours before I got up, put on a robe, and tiptoed toward the kitchen to see if I could scrounge up some warm milk or chamomile tea. I was rummaging in the fridge when a soft voice behind me made me jump and scream, which in turn made Esme jump and grasp at her chest.

"Oh, dear. I didn't mean to startle you. I heard you in here and thought I'd see if you needed anything."

I melted against the counter and started to laugh, shaking my head. "Oh, it's okay. I was trying so hard not to wake you. I was convinced I had pulled it off. I'm having trouble settling my mind and thought I'd look for something to help."

Esme nodded with a knowing smile as she slid gracefully around the island to stand beside me, grabbing a red box out of a cabinet by the fridge. "This is my favorite sleepytime tea. It is a delicious cinnamon Chamomile blend. It'll help ease those muscles in no time."

I sighed and thanked her before moving to sit at the counter while she efficiently worked to boil water on the stove and pull out mugs to steep our drinks in. She dropped a bag of the special tea into each cup before turning to lean across from me while we waited for the water to boil.

"So, do you want to confide in me, or is it something you'd rather keep to yourself?"

I sighed, my cheeks tingeing pink. Could I talk to her about her own son?

As if she were reading my mind, her smile grew wider. "I thought so…you know you can talk to me about your fears in regard to Edward as well. I wouldn't mind."

I nibbled on my lip and opened my mouth to begin, only to be saved by the whistle of the kettle. Esme held up a finger and turned to grab it off the stove, pouring generous portions of steaming water into both mugs before turning to hand one to me. "I typically find that I don't need sweetener with this blend, and I'm a three lumps of sugar woman when it comes to coffee, but if you need some, the sugar is to your right."

I accepted the offered mug with a smile, picking up the string to dip the bag in the water a few times before slipping my fingers around the outside to savor the warmth while the tea steeped. When I looked up again, Esme was watching me with an expectant smile. I sighed and swallowed hard before opening my mouth to speak again.

"My worries aren't actually about Edward so much as starting a long distance relationship with someone wonderful like Edward and then losing it. He's an amazing man. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping it together as it is… to go through that kind of loss…It just scares me."

Esme moved around the counter to sit next to me, spinning to face me and tugging me so I faced her as well. Her eyes twinkled as she rested her hands on top of mine.

"Do you know what I was doing when I met Carlisle?"

I shook my head, waiting for her to continue.

"I lived my entire life up until the age of 26 in sunny southern California. I never dreamed of living anywhere else. I loved the warm sunshine and the miles and miles of beaches. Then my family came on Christmas vacation to Everwood. We even stayed right here in this B&B when it was a hunter's lodge. While I was here, I met a young medical student home on vacation from the East Coast where he was nearing the end of med school and about to apply for his Residency. I fell head over heels, as did he. We spent every spare moment we could muster together, and when it came time to part, we debated the merits of attempting a long distance relationship."

"In the end, we knew that love could conquer all. We missed one another terribly as we suffered through an entire year three thousand miles apart, neither of us having the money to fly coast to coast willy nilly, so we racked up horrendous phone bills and sent more letters than either of us had in our entire life. We learned much about each other, the biggest being that Carlisle's dream was to return to Everwood and practice here. I was heartbroken, but I wasn't willing to let him go."

"The next Christmas, we both returned to Everwood to find we were more in love than ever. Carlisle and I both compromised. He managed to get matched with a Residency program in L.A. and we were married before he began his second year. When it was over, we moved together to Everwood and started our life here. Carlisle bought me this Lodge and together we renovated it into the state it is today. He worked like a demon to serve the community, eventually taking on two mentors who now allow him to live in near retirement, a blessing to us both in our advancing age."

"My life is nothing like I envisioned it thirty-eight years ago, but I tell you Bella. I wouldn't change a thing. I adore my life here and I'm so glad I gave love a chance. It reminds me of that country song by LeeAnn Womack. Both you and my son have suffered tremendously by the actions of others, but I hope that in spite of it all, you still remember to live and love life, take chances, and dance."

I sucked in a slow, sniffling breath before nodding tearfully. "It's so scary, Esme. I…"I took a deep breath. "What if I can't have a normal relationship? My parents were messed up; my marriage was messed up, what if I end up bringing that into my relationship with Edward? What if I'm damaged and unable to have a healthy relationship?"

Esme jumped down and promptly wrapped me in her arms, shushing me as I sobbed against her shoulder. "Nonsense, sweet child, that is total Nonsense. Don't you think on that for a second. Besides, both you and Edward are coming from very similar places. You've both been burned by love. I believe that if any two people have learned from that and are determined not to repeat that, it would be the two of you. My son hasn't as much as looked at another woman since what he went through with Leah. Within the course of a day, you broke through years worth of walls with a single smile. I think the same may be true of you. For the first time since you were hurt, the both of you are actually living instead of simply existing. Don't run away from that. It's a good thing, believe me!"

I nodded and let her hold me a while longer before she carefully pulled away with a smile before setting my cup of tea in my hands. We sat and whispered quietly about things as we both sipped the warm liquid. Esme was right; it was perfect just as it was. We were almost done when the phone on the wall began to ring. Esme looked at it with confusion before her expression morphed to one of fear. She got down and rushed to answer, responding with single words for the longest before she whispered a quiet 'be careful, I love you' and hanging up. Tears were in her eyes when she turned back to me.

"It's very bad out tonight. Edward has been called in on a search and rescue. Apparently, some hikers have gotten lost somewhere in the upper elevation peaks of the park. They have called in all high altitude qualified rescuers to assist. He's not sure when he'll be back."

My heart clamped down hard upon itself in my chest as my veins ran cold with ice. I don't know why I never considered the danger in his job. Some stupid part of me thought this was a safer option than the FBI, as there wouldn't be criminals waiting to shoot him on the job. I never considered the dangers that came along with being a park ranger, in spite of my love of the silly 80's show.

I walked over and hugged a teary Esme as we both listened to the seconds tick by in agonizing slowness as we waited for the next call to come informing us the he was safe.

Esme and I didn't get a wink of sleep. We sat up at the island counter all night, drinking coffee and talking quietly. Carlisle awoke first around 6am. He looked just as worried as Esme. Not long afterward the kids started streaming in, my two first just before 7, with Millie emerging from her room in Esme and Carlisle's apartment area less than half an hour later. She was disappointed not to see her Dad. Her disappointment grew when she was finally told he was called out to help in the rescue. Her young mind didn't understand the danger, but you could tell she was still uneasy.

Then, of all the days for Jake to decide to man up and want the kids, it had to be that day. He called demanding I bring the kids to him. His short tone and my frustration was the straw that broke the camel's back, bringing forth the sobs as I ran for my room, hoping the kids didn't notice.

Jake sounded anxious when I finally began registering his words once I got my crying under control. "I'm sorry, Jake. If you want them, then I really need you to come here to get them."

He huffed and interrupted before I could explain. "Fuck you, Bella. You were the one that promised to bring them to me. I don't want to drive all the way to Everwood for a couple of hours. Screw you."

This straw fell on the back of another emotion that snapped twice as hard as the sadness and worry did, and this one was far more volatile. The rage over the past year of bullshit he'd pulled with me flooded my body and sent my vision red.

"No, you know what Jake? Fuck. YOU! All you ever think of is your fucking self. You move off and leave your kids and you're too self involved to see beyond your own damned nose. I was in a CAR ACCIDENT the night I dropped the kids off, Jake. In other words, I have no car of my own. Normally I would try to borrow the Cullen's car, but since their SON is out risking his life to save some lost hikers in the mountains, I WILL NOT ask to take away their best form of transportation if something happens to him. If I take them to you, then I AM driving an hour each way, plus I have nothing to do but sit and twiddle my thumbs while I wait for you to be done with them. So get your head out of your selfish, egotistical, self-serving ASS and drive the fuck over here if you want to see them, otherwise, shove it where the sun don't shine!"

I didn't even give him a chance to respond as I hung up on him and turned around to channel my rage into the bed, screaming into my pillow and letting the tears of worry and anger go in a single, unstoppable torrent. When the anger had finally poured away, I was left with just the frustration and worry. The thought that dominated all else was the most glaring of them all…if Edward didn't make it out safe, he'd never know how I felt about him, and I just couldn't stomach it.

I hugged a pillow to my chest and slid down to the wall next to the bed, holding it tight and wishing it was Edward. Nobody came to bother me and I had no clue how long I sat there before finally a soft knock came at the door. Esme opened it slowly after I told her to come in. Her eyes scanned the room before falling on me.

"Are you okay?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yes, just emotional overload thanks to my ex."

Esme nodded before gesturing toward the open doorway. "Speaking of, he is here and wants to talk to you."

I stood up in surprise, wiping my eyes and tossing the pillow onto the bed. "What?"

Esme nodded as she moved closer to pull me into a hug. "Should I send him in here so you can talk in private?"

I nodded mutely as she pulled back to look into my eyes. "We're here if you need us."

I smiled weakly. "Thank you, Esme. Send him in."

I turned and started straightening the bed as Esme walked into the hall and spoke, moments later I felt his presence enter the room, even though he didn't announce his arrival. I finished what I was doing before turning and around face him and sitting on the edge of the bed. Jake was staring at me in confusion from the doorway, as he played with his flip phone, flicking it open with his thumb before flipping it back down again with a loud click.

I just stared at him, waiting for him to say what he had come to say and expecting a big fight, what I got instead was definitely not what I expected.

"I fucked up, Bella."

I raised my eyebrows, asking without words which mistake he was about to actually own up to since there had been so many. Jake shook his head and crossed the room to kneel before me, holding my hands in his as my eyes grew wide. I had to be dreaming, this surely wasn't happening!

"I don't know what I was thinking leaving you. You were an amazing wife and mother. You took care of us and did so much more than you had to in order to keep us all happy. You put yourself last so much of the time and I didn't appreciate it. I am a selfish asshole like you said and I'm sorry. If I could take it all back, I would."

I know I must have been looking at him as if he were insane. I just unloaded the mother of all bitchfests on him and he was apologizing for screwing around on me and divorcing me? Had I somehow stepped into the Twilight Zone?

"I know enough to know you would never take me back, even if I begged and pleaded, especially now that you're with that ranger guy, but I just wanted you to know that if I thought I had a chance, I'd try."

I shook my head at him in further disappointment. "Jake, you made a commitment to a new wife and child. Admitting this to me is not endearing me any further to you. I'm so disappointed. What happened to you?" I gestured to his kneeling form. "THIS is not the guy who rented Duck Soup when I was sick so there would be a theme and watched it with me while feeding me Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. You're not the guy who asked me to marry you while on the beach in California. And you are most definitely not the man that sobbed against my stomach when I told you I was pregnant with Braxton. I don't know what happened between then and now to change you, but I really hope you find your way back to the Jake I once loved."

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as I remembered when things were good…when I thought we would last forever. I took a deep, stabilizing breath before looking back at him and seeing a man that was almost a stranger.

"Why don't you go take your kids out for a while and enjoy your time with them. There's a nice ice cream parlor downtown and a small movie theater. Unfortunately, the ice skating rink is closed, but the fresh snow would probably make a great snowman in the park. All their snow stuff is in the laundry room. If you ask Esme, she'll make sure you have everything you need."

He took a deep breath before nodding and standing up, shuffling his way to the door. When he got there, the turned and looked back at me with shimmering eyes.

"It's hard to see you move on, Bella. I know that's shitty of me to say considering I'm responsible for the entire situation, but it's still hard to see you fall in love with someone else. I hope he's a good guy, not only for my kids' sake, but for you too. You deserve a nice guy…for a change." The last bit was so low I almost missed it before he walked out and closed the door softly behind me. I gasped as one hand flew to my mouth and the other to my stomach. I was on the verge of hyperventilating when I lay down on the bed and clutched the pillow to my chest again. Even Jake saw what I was afraid to admit, even to myself. I couldn't deny it any longer, and even more than that, I desperately needed Edward to get back so I could tell him myself.

I rolled over and looked at the clock, which read ten in the morning. Edward had been out of touch for nine hours already. All I could do was lay there and pray we'd hear from him soon.

Around lunchtime, Esme coaxed me out of the room to join her, Carlisle, and Millie for lunch, not that any of us had much of an appetite. We all sat around, picking at our food and glancing to the clock over and over.

Jake brought the kids back around two. The first thing the kids did was run in and ask if Edward was okay. All we could tell them was that there was no word. Jake gave me an apologetic look before leaving to return to his wife and child.

The clock continued to tick past three in the afternoon, and then finally relief came in the form of a phone call at three twenty-two as we all took a simultaneous sigh in relief. Edward had just gotten back to base camp and radioed in to let everyone know he was safe before the flight crew would helicopter him back to town. Carlisle and I went to meet him as everyone else rushed to assemble food for the man who would probably be starving.

I watched the sky intently, finally letting the last vestiges of my worry slip from my body a small dot of silver glinted on the horizon. Slowly the shape grew larger until I finally landed in the middle of the helipad at the small regional airport. The door opened and Edward slowly stepped out and began walking toward us. Before I knew what I was doing, I was running toward him, wrapping myself around him as he held me tight to him and took a long sniff of my hair. He was dirty and smelly, but I didn't care at all. All that mattered to me was that he was home safe.

I pulled back a little to slide my hands up to the back of his head and tug him down for a kiss. His lips immediately parted for me and he hugged me closer. When we finally broke apart, I stared up at his tired but happy sea glass green eyes.

"I was so afraid I'd never see you again. I'm sorry it took all of this to make me admit it, but I love you. I do. I love you and I want to give us a try."

A bright smile spread across his slightly chapped lips as his eyes danced. "Really?"

I nodded as I cupped his cheeks in my hands. He let out a whoop and lifted me in the air, twirling me in a circle before sitting me back down on my feet to kiss me again. When he released my lips, he stayed close, resting his forehead against mine as he breathed slowly. "I love you, too, Isabella Swan. I'm not sure when and how it happened, but I do."

I latched my body around his chest, resting my head over his jacket where his heart should be. We stayed like that for several long minutes before we broke apart and made our way to the car. Edward and Carlisle embraced before we all climbed back in the Range Rover, Edward and I sitting together in the back seat, Edward's head resting in my lap as I played with his soft, oddly tinted hair.

When we arrived at the lodge, Esme and Millie both sprinted out into his arms, followed soon after by my two monkeys who hugged his legs. We led him inside and fed him before ordering him off to bed. As I went to lead him down the trail to his cabin, Esme grabbed me by the shoulder, shooting me a serious look. "Same orders go for you as well. I'll take care of the kids…you go rest. You've had a long day."

I gulped and stared at her before finally nodding. "If they get to be too much or get upset because I'm not there, please come get me."

Esme rolled her eyes and propped her hands on her hips. "We're making buckeyes and oreo balls for the New Year's Celebration in the town Square. They'll have so much to do; they won't know you're even gone."

I smiled and nodded before curling up to Edward's side as he rested a heavy, exhausted arm over my shoulders. My heart pounded as we walked toward his house and entered. He gave me a quick tour before leading me to the back of the house where his small bedroom awaited us, with a queen sized bed taking up the majority of the space in the room.

He only took off his shoes and his belt before climbing into bed fully clothed and tugging for me to follow. I kicked off my shoes and joined him under the soft covers, sighing contently as he curled up behind me, anchoring me to his body at the waist. He kissed my neck and mumbled one last 'I love you' before falling into a deep sleep. I smiled and savored the feeling for a few moments before letting the exhaustion that had followed my sleepless night and emotional day take me under with him. That night my dreams consisted of my reality, sleeping in Edward's arms, content and at peace…the only difference was a small gold band on my left ring finger and a noticeable bump under the cover behind my belly button.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Corrected chapter. Thank you AgoodWITCH...next chapter will post later today.

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**Chapter 7**

I had no clue how much time had passed when I awoke to the delicious sensation of Edward kissing up the column of my neck and back down again. I whimpered and leaned back into his body as his hand smoothed up and down my stomach over the material of my sweater. I smiled and looked over my shoulder at him with a hum, noticing his fresh soapy scent and wet hair. Apparently, he had gotten up to shower before waking me.

"Good morning," I rasped.

He smiled and leaned in closer to kiss my lips before leaning back again. "Still good night, actually. I think there's another hour before you can officially say good morning."

My eyes popped wide as I sat up to look at my cell phone, surprised to find I hadn't missed any calls. Edward chuckled before grabbing me around the waist and tugging me back down on the bed with him, his lips instantly finding my neck as his hand drifted down to tease my thigh. I sighed and relaxed back into him, arching as I came into contact with the proof of his current mindset, at which point I unintentionally tensed.

I felt Edward freeze behind be before slowly putting a little space between us and turning me to face him. "Everything okay, Bella?"

I blushed and nodded. "Y…yeah. I, uh…well, it's just been a long time, and having not had a reason to be concerned…I uh. I'm not protected or anything."

Edward cocked his head for a moment before realization dawned in his eyes and then morphed into a sad frown. He let out a sad little chuckle. "Yeah, me either. I don't even have condoms around here. I threw out a box a year ago that I had bought in 2004, before Millie was born. I've been keeping myself company in that respect for far too long."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I should probably go back to the lodge. This is going to be too big of a temptation for the both of us, and I may love you, but I'm nowhere near ready for a baby with you."

Edward smirked down at me before leaning his head forward to rest his forehead against mine. "You love me." He was practically bragging, making me giggle.

"Yep and you love me."

He smiled brighter before tipping forward to take my lips again, the kiss slow and sensual. Slowly the intensity built. My body kept moving closer and closer to his, remembering how this all works and wanting the relief in spite of what my brain was telling it. Edward panted hard against my neck as he grazed his nose up and down it while reaching a hand down to grab behind my knee, hitching my thigh over his hip and aligning our universes perfectly. I arched and moaned, sparks racing through my body as we brushed together. We were quickly reaching the point of no return, and I knew I wasn't ready.

With a sad whimper, I pushed away and stood up from the bed, running my hands through my hair and tugging. I shook my head with a sigh; I had been so right the night before when I was talking with Esme…I was definitely damaged. What sane woman would walk away from that gorgeous man waiting in that bed? I wanted him so bad, but I knew in my heart that it wasn't the right time. To give in now would do more damage than good, especially if impulsivity led to an unexpected child and I'd only just found Edward. I certainly didn't want to risk losing him and/or complicating our relationship further over poor decision-making.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I grabbed my shoes from the floor and hopped on one foot to try to put them on while standing.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I have to go."

The pain in Edward's eyes burned me. I hated hurting his feelings, but I just couldn't…not yet. "Bella, please don't go. I'm sorry. I'll go take a cold shower and keep things PG. Just please don't go."

He was standing beside me wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his strong smooth chest on display and making it so much harder to maintain my resolve. He wasn't ripped, but he was definitely toned. I wanted so badly to kiss his right peck and lick my way down his torso to make my acquaintance with what was hiding beneath his pants. I shook my head, trying to push away the images, before reaching up to cup his cheek.

"Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. This is just me. I'm not ready, but I'm also too weak to stay and not screw this up. I can't…not yet…I…I hope you can understand."

Edward drew in a slow breath and released it with a long sigh. "Of course I can understand, Bella. This is still very new for both of us. We should take things slow, but it's just really difficult since it's the last thing I want to do."

I smiled and nodded, understanding perfectly. I tipped up on my toes and pecked his lips softly as his hands fisted the material of my shirt on either side of my waist. One peck turned into two, which turned into a lingering brushing of our lips. I caught myself as our lips slid open and the first tug of breath was exchanged between us. I pulled away and covered my lips, panting as I backed toward the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm too weak. I…I'll see you in the morning."

Edward held his hand up as I reached the door, grabbing a shirt out of a nearby drawer. "Wait, at least let me walk you back."

I shook my head. "No, you need more rest. I'll be fine. It's not that far."

His eyes were pleading with me, "Bella, Please. Let me do this."

I nodded as I slid on my coat, zipping it up tight and hugging my waist as I waited. A couple of minutes later, he was bundled as well and reaching out for my hand. My fingers trembled as I reached out to take his offered hand. Neither of us had bothered to wear gloves and the comfort of his touch warmed me and helped me to relax. What started as a quick pace, slowed into a leisurely stroll. When the doors of the lodge came into sight, Edward sighed.

"I'm not ready to be there yet."

I smiled and leaned over to rest my head on his bicep as I curled myself around his arm. I loved being affectionate with him, as long as it was in a more public setting where my long neglected hormones couldn't run away with me.

As we reached the porch, Edward wrapped me in his arms and held me as we both stared up at the stars, far more numerous in this faraway place than back home. After a while, Edward kissed my forehead before resting his cheek atop my head.

"What are your plans tomorrow?"

"I'm going to contact the mechanics to see if my car is ready. If it is, then I guess I'm driving the kids over to see Jake."

Edward frowned down at me. "What are you going to do while they are with him?"

I sighed and looked out over the vista where the mountains angled up toward the heavens above making their presence known only as shadows against the speckled, starry backdrop, a slow smile spreading across my face as I pictured the female lead, Ingrid, eating breakfast at a coffee shop overlooking this very mountain range. Other pieces of the plot began to intermingle for the first time in almost a year, as the entirety of a chapter knit itself together within moments in my mind's eye.

"Well, it seems my muse may be making a reappearance. I thought I'd find a quiet café or bookstore to curl up with my laptop and see what comes together. I had hoped that this trip would allow the creative juices to flow, and I'm suddenly feeling completely unblocked."

Edward smiled down at me before kissing my nose. "That's wonderful, Love. Would you like me to take you to the auto shop? I'd love to see you before I have to return to work tomorrow night. After that, I'll have two days off."

I leaned up to kiss his lips softly, before tugging myself close to him to deepen the kiss. When we broke apart, we were both breathing heavily and wanting more. "That sounds wonderful. I'll see you in the morning?"

He smiled that crooked smile that stole my breath and nodded before opening the door for me to enter before turning to head back down the path to his cabin. I quietly knocked the snow off my boots and shed my coat before tiptoeing through the great room. I stopped to smile when I saw three little lumps in front of the fireplace, wrapped in warm sleeping bags with strands of dark hair peeking through the top of each. A form on the couch turned and looked my way. Esme smiled brightly at me before putting her finger to her lips and gesturing for me to go on to bed. I took one last glance at the trio of sleeping children before carefully making my way back to my room.

The next morning began with a three children jumping on my bed, giggling and tickling me. I laughed and tickled them all back before letting them drag me out of the room. Edward was standing in the hallway waiting for us, a wistful smile on his face as he stared at his daughter's hand in mine.

Breakfast was full of giggles as the three kids plied Edward and me with stories of the afternoon and evening before. I had to hand it to Esme…she was like queen of the creative Grandmas. My kids had barely even noticed my absence thanks to her fantastic imagination and well thought out projects.

Once our bellies were full, I dragged my kids back to our room where I stuck them in the bath, getting the major cleaning part over before allowing them to play while I placed a tentative call to Jake to see what he wanted to do and offer to bring the kids his way if my car was ready. He was surprisingly pleasant and seemed genuinely excited to see the kids.

Once everyone was clean and ready to go, the kids and I went back to the great room to find everyone waiting. Edward and I convinced the kids to wait at the lodge and play with Millie while we ran to the auto shop. It would only be a quick trip after all, and our only chance for a few stolen moments alone before we'd be separated until sometime the next day.

We stole a few more moments, kissing in the car like two horny teenagers, before I finally forced myself to go inside and discover the damages. Between the bodywork and the engine work, it was quite the total, but thankfully, my insurance covered the majority of the repairs, leaving me with the five hundred dollar copay. I forked over the money before taking the keys and heading back out to let Edward know. He followed me back to the B&B and watched sadly as I loaded up the kids for the hour long drive to Pine Ridge. He stood in the driveway and waved at us until we turned the corner in the drive and I could no longer see him in the rearview. I hated to leave him, but real life beckoned and I had a promise to keep.

There was no sign of Nessie or the baby when the kids and I arrived at Jake's house. The kids ran in and hugged Jake, which made me smile. He beamed at them and held them tight, promising a day full of fun. He offered for me to come along, but I politely declined, noting my bought of inspiration and reminding him that my cell would be on the whole time. I felt a lightness in my step and a smile on my face that hadn't been around much in the past year as I bounded down the front steps to my car. I hopped behind the wheel and whistled a tune as I pulled down the street.

I lost all track of time, finding myself completely shocked to discover six hours had passed before Jake called me to pick up the kids. From the second I sat down, I was completely immersed in the life of Ingrid as she licked her wounds in the picturesque mountain town, waiting for the call from Nicholai that would tell her it was safe to come home. In the meantime, she was finding a new kind of home in the small town charms and kind caring that she had found in her mountain hideaway. I had never written so much of my own experiences into my Lightforce series before, but it just all seemed to meld so perfectly. Before I knew it, I had hammered out nearly twenty thousand words just in that one sitting as the tidal wave of dormant creativity washed over me and carried me away with it.

I hurriedly packed up my belongings and rushed back to the house. I couldn't wipe the grin on my face if I tried. Jake answered the door and called for the kids to put the rest of the gloves and hats on before offering for me to come in. I watched the kids scramble, glancing every once in a while when I felt Jake's eyes trained on me. He asked the kids to go down and give us a chance to talk. I watched the kids walk down the sidewalk hand in hand until Braxton helped Bailey climb in the car door before turning back to Jake.

I opened my mouth only to close it again as Jake smiled sadly at me. "The last time you looked this happy and free was when we were kids. I never thought I'd see that smile again."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Things finally feel like they're coming back together for me again. Today was the first day since you left that I've been able to write more than a few words at a time. I…I think I'm finding myself again."

Jake smiled and shook his head. "You never lost yourself; you just put yourself last behind the rest of us. I'm glad to see you putting yourself as a priority again. You deserve it."

I blushed a little as I smiled back. "Thanks, Jake. So, do are you good to do this again tomorrow?"

Jake frowned a little, staring out at my car before glancing back at me. "Nah…how about I come back over to you guys. It's not fair for you to do all the driving. Nessie's mad at me and took the baby to stay at her Mom's so it doesn't really matter either way, but I hear another storm is supposed to be coming in and I'd rather it be me out on the roads than you and the kids."

I felt a bright smile fill my face as I stared up at the softer look in Jake's eyes. I'm not sure where he disappeared to for all those years, but looking back at me in that moment was the guy who had been my best friend in high school and had looked out for my safety at one point in our history.

"Glad to have you back, Jake," I said, patting his shoulder softly. "Thank you. That would be great since I have very little winter weather driving experience. Call when you're heading out so we know to keep an eye out for you."

He looked at me again with those puppy dog eyes as he nodded and watched me bound down the steps to my kids. I talked happily with them as I secured Bailey into her car seat and double checked Braxton's seatbelt before sliding behind the wheel and pulling out to head back to the Lodge.

Esme and Millie were waiting for us as we pulled into the drive, supper waiting for us as well as delicious hot chocolate and warm fresh baked cookies. I couldn't help but wonder how many extra pounds I was going to take back to Arizona with me after Esme's never-ending parade of delicious baked goods. We visited for a while before parting ways so we could get settled in for bed.

We woke the next morning to a thick blanket of snow and more coming down. Edward arrived soon after we awoke, eating breakfast with us and stealing glances with me as he held my hand under the table so the kids couldn't see, his thumb brushing the back of my knuckles as we listened to the kids talk.

Esme told the kids to get bundled so they could go out and make snow forts in the deep fresh snow, giving Edward and me a few quiet moments before his exhaustion claimed him for the next few hours. The second the kids were outside, I was in his arms, his soft pliant lips insistent upon mine. When we broke apart we simply smiled at each other as we rested our foreheads together, arms still wrapped possessively around one another.

"I missed you these past 24 hours," Edward complained as he rubbed his thumbs along the flesh at the small of my back above the waistband of my pants.

I took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. "You do realize this is just a tiny taste of what it's going to be like when we have to do home, right? Are you certain you're up for it?"

licked his lips as he gazed down at me, his sea-glass eyes burning right through my soul. "Every seconds of discomfort is more than worth the rewards. I'm positive."

I smiled before leaning in closer to taste his lips again, the sweetness of his lips making me hum. A few moments later, I was backed against the nearest wall as Edward pressed closer, his lips drifting down to my earlobe as the heat of his body made me feel weak in the knees.

"I just wanted to let you know, I picked up a box of condoms yesterday. I don't want to pressure you, but I wanted you to know that we're protected if we do decide we're ready."

I sucked in a deep breath and swallowed hard as my lower lips clenched in excitement. I wanted it so bad…wanted him so much…I could have easily dragged him back to my room and spent the rest of the morning letting him love me. Thankfully, there was a single thread of rational thought that reminded me that we had three kids running around who were very likely to find us before too much longer.

I moved to steal a kiss from his lips before smiling up at him. "Those will come in handy later, when we are both ready."

He hummed and moved to kiss across my collarbone before working his way up the other side of my neck, his hands sliding further up under my shirt as he pulled the lower half of me closer to him. His lips had just found my mouth again when the sound of the front door slamming open and two loud little voices came echoing through the foyer along with the deep voice I knew all too well. Jacob rounded the corner before we could react and froze as he stared at Edward and me, wrapped together in an intimate embrace, my shoulders still pinned to the wall.

We jumped apart seconds before the kids came barreling around the corner, having been delayed a few seconds by the process of stripping off their snow boots and outerwear. They ran in beaming and holding sacks as they exclaimed Daddy brought books, puzzles, games, and movies for them to look through while he was here, while Jake's eyes stayed locked on me as though he'd been frozen in place.

My face was as hot as the surface of the sun at being caught as I tore my eyes from Jake's sad ones to smile at the kids. "That's awesome guys. Why don't you go get settled in down in the living room area and Dad will be down to do some of that with you in a minute."

They disappeared immediately, completely unaware of what was happening between the adults. Jake shook his head slightly before turning narrowed eyes at Edward. I didn't know why this was all such a shock to his system. He was, after all, the one who had pointed out my feelings for Edward in the first place. I guess knowing and seeing it with his own eyes are two very different things though, sort of like the first time I saw he and Nessie kissing after we split up.

I turned to Edward with apologetic eyes. "Sorry, I didn't get a chance to tell you that Jake was coming this way today so that the kids and I weren't out in the bad weather. I hope that's okay."

Edward's eyes moved from Jake to me and softened considerably as he shot me a sad smile. "Not at all. I'm glad you guys aren't going out in this mess. I really need to go get some rest, Love, but I'll be back in a few hours."

I smiled and offered to walk him to the door before turning back to tell Jake I'd be back soon. Edward and I walked hand in hand to the back door that led to the path to his cabin. When we reached the door, he leaned down and kissed me gently.

"Have a good day, Love. I'm hoping that we might get some alone time this evening after the kids are tucked in. Even if it's just an hour or two in front of the fire in the great room, I want to spend some time just the two of us."

I smiled and leaned in to hug his waist tightly. "That sounds like heaven, Edward. I look forward to it."

He kissed me one last time before disappearing out the door and down the snow covered path to his cabin. I watched as he disappeared into the fallen snow before turning to go change. Once I was dressed, I quietly snuck back to the great room, smiling when I found my kids sitting in their Dad's lap, listening intently as he read with them. He was there again, the Jake I once knew and loved, actually engaging with them as he tried to do the voices for Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf, and Grandma.

Being careful not to disrupt their time together, I ducked into the kitchen where Esme and Millie were working together on a soup for lunch. Esme smiled at me as I walked in, gesturing to the stool across the counter from where she was working.

"The children seem happy to see their father today."

I smiled and nodded as I reached for a cutting board and a freshly washed onion waiting to be chopped. My eyes began to tear up immediately as I began to slice the white flesh. "Yeah, apparently it took me standing up to him and using a little harsh language to make him wake up."

Esme chuckled, shoving the pile of carrots she had carefully sliced into the pot of beef stock before picking up the washed celery stalks. As she began chopping, she sent Millie to her apartment in search of something before turning back to me with a wide smile.

"So, I caught a bit of that little encounter in the dining room before Jake arrived. It seems you and my son are doing quite well." Her eyebrows shot up in an exaggerated waggle that made me laugh before realization hit.

"Esme Cullen, did YOU send Jake in on purpose to catch us?"

A pink tint rose in Esme's cheek before she shrugged slightly. "I thought he should see for himself what he so stupidly passed on. You are a beautiful woman, Bella. It was only a matter of time before you moved on. He should have expected it."

I snorted as I continued to cut the onion, lifting my wrists to wipe at my eyes before cutting again. "Esme, you are quite the piece of work. I was of course mortified, but I have to admit, it was sort of vindicating to see Jake suffering a little at watching me move on, just as I had to watch him flit about with Nessie on his arm."

Esme beamed. "As well it should!"

We laughed and continued to work as I would stop occasionally to check on the kids. They were having a great time with their Dad. I came out a few times to offer snacks or drinks before disappearing again trying not to intrude.

It was getting close to supper time and the table needed setting. I quietly snuck out of the kitchen with a load of plates to discover Jake and the kids laughing and wrestling in the living area floor. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them interact. I stood there, holding the plates and enjoying the brief flashback to a time before my life was in shambles, when my babies had both their parents. Bailey would never remember those times, being a little over one year old when our life went up in smoke, but I had a feeling Braxton remembered.

I smiled brighter as I heard Bailey's high pitched squeal as Jake swung her over his shoulder and tickled her. So far during their trip I had yet to see her actually enjoying their time so much.

I didn't even hear Edward enter the room until he cleared his throat. I almost dropped the plates in my surprise as I glanced over at him. His eyes looked sad and disappointed as he gazed from me to Jake and the kids and back again. I saw it written all over his face, and I wasn't about to leave him thinking the way he was. Without another thought, I sat the stack of plates down and walked over to grab Edward's arm and pull him down the hallway to my room.

I pulled him inside and closed the door behind us. He spoke before I had a chance to say a word.

"If you're still in love with him, I won't stand in your way. I saw how he looked at you this morning. He is obviously still enamored with you, and from what I saw, you still have those feelings for him."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I stepped forward to cover his mouth with my hand. "Oh would you shut up. You have no clue what you're talking about. What you saw in there was not my love for him. He was once my best friend and yes, I see that boy peek out at me from time to time, but that was not what you saw tonight. What you saw was me happy that he was acting like a Dad again, like he did before he got too wrapped up in his own wants and forgot to put his family first. I would never, ever go back to Jake. That is quite simply off the table, regardless of your presence in my life. So all that being said, please don't go all jealous or noble on me, okay? Jake will never be competition for you in that way. I promise you that."

Edward stared at me his eyes burning deep inside me as his breathing grew heavy. He closed his eyes slowly before opening them again, unshed tears shimmering along the bottom lid. "Thank God, because the last thing I want to do is let you go."

Without another word, I was wrapped in his arms, his mouth devouring mine greedily. I sighed and gripped him back, unwilling to let him suspect for a second that I would ever go back to Jake; much less choose Jake over him.

We kissed for a long time, hands roaming, lips caressing, before I eventually decided to give a little slack and moved him to sit on the bed before I moved to straddle him, holding his face in my hands as I kissed him passionately. Edward moaned, his hands moving to grab at my jean clad cheeks and squeeze, pulling me closer. My hips moved against his instinctively as I craned my head back with a gasp as his lips moved to nip at my neck. The sensations were mounting more quickly than I could process as we compressed ourselves together, tongues dancing, hands grasping, bodies grinding.

For a moment, we were alone in the world as all other thoughts left us. There were no exes in the great room, no kids able to run in at any moment, no parents wandering around trying to stay out of everyone's hair…no, there was just Edward, Bella, and a bed that we both wanted to crawl into and just disappear completely within each other in.

The moment lasted for several more brief minutes before the sound of little footsteps warned us of the coming visitors seconds before the door flew open, giving me just enough time to stand up and straighten my shirt. Braxton and Bailey flew in, laughing as they jumped on Edward on the bed.

"Time for supper, then after our Daddy is going to read us one more story before he has to go home, Mr. Edward. Isn't that great?"

Edward plastered on a fake smile and agreed before telling the kiddos we'd be right behind them. I felt kind of sorry for him, but the truth of the matter was, this would be our life if we continued on together. I would always have to hear about Leah from Millie, and Edward would have to hear about Jake from my two hooligans. There would be times when it would be painful, but it was part of the life we would be living if things worked out as both Edward and I hoped and what we had was strong enough to survive the trials ahead.

Edward helped me fix a tangle in my hair before kissing my cheek sweetly and leading me back to the great room where everyone else was already seated, two seats waiting for us, side by side at the table. Esme winked at me as we sat down and said grace. Edward and Jake actually managed to handle a little civil conversation throughout the meal, and when it was done, Jake read one last story as promised, before leaving to head back home.

Jake gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before promising to come again the next day, his final visit with the kids before Nessie returned home and his court appointed visitation week was over. I told him we were staying a couple of extra days, but after casting me a sad smile, he said he didn't want to get in the way. He whispered in my ear that he would forever regret letting me go before kissing my cheek and disappearing into the snowy night. I stood in bewilderment for a few moments before his truck disappeared into the distance and I walked back inside, feeling a mixture of annoyance and sadness bubbling within me at Jake's words. I tried not to let that bitter edge I had when I arrived take over, but my thoughts were sharp and angry as I processed his actions before I finally sighed and let it go.

I walked back in to find all three kids once again in Edward's lap, already in footie pajamas and ready for bed. They all relaxed against him as he read them the story of Cinderella before telling them all it was time for bed. He went one way to tuck Millie in her room in his parents' quarters while I settled my monkeys in with prayers, songs, and goodnight kisses. I told them I was leaving them before they fell asleep, but I expected them to stay in bed and I would be listening.

They giggled as I walked out of the room, but more or less stayed quiet. As I walked back into the great room, the smile on my face widened as I found Edward sitting in front of the fireplace, the room dark save for the illumination coming from within the hearth. I giggled as I settled on the blanket with him and took the cup of cocoa he offered.

It was a beautiful night as we did a little kissing and a lot of talking. He was so pleased when I told him all that I had accomplished on the new novel and the ideas that had taken shape during my time with his family. The insights I had gained from my time with them had been so influential on me that it had taken hold and reshaped the entire ending I had envisioned for Ingrid and Nicholai.

After I finished droning on about my novel, he told me about work and how much he had missed me and how his thoughts were dominated by me and my family. The light had nearly died in the fire as we cuddled together for extra warmth and started talking plans for the future. We began plotting times and ways we could visit one another and things we would like to see happen in our burgeoning relationship. We lost all track of time as we got lost in our potential future, not even realizing the time until the sky began to lighten with dawn's first rays of illumination.

Edward and I curled up together, my head resting on his chest as we watched the sun rise while he played with my hair, and when the kids woke up an hour later, they found us in that same position, still talking quietly and smiling happily.

I hadn't been sure what to expect, but what I hadn't anticipated was the two of them curling up with us and relaxing into Edward's and my side. Finally after a few moments of silence, Braxton asked the question that I knew was on his mind.

"So does THIS mean you're getting married? Because I don't think I'd mind too much, especially if it meant we could move here and be closer to Dad and Mr. Edward…and Millie, and Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle."

I smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "We're not really there yet, but we are going to be spending a lot of time together and hopefully visiting as often as we can. We'll see what happens from there."

A few more quiet minutes passed before we heard another set of tiny feet. They paused at the entryway to the living area and my heart froze, worried Millie would be unhappy. My fears were assuaged however, when a few seconds later she let out a joyful squeal and ran to plop on Edward's chest.

"Are we going to be a real family now, Daddy?" She asked sweetly as she lifted her head to look down at her father.

Edward smiled and hugged us all closer, kissing the top of each head in the pile before resting his cheek against his daughter's head. "If I have anything to say about it, we will."

This of course set off another squeal, leading to the kids hopping up and running around as if we'd fed the straight sugar instead of revealing a new relationship. The noise brought Esme from the kitchen to see what was going on, her smile widening as all three kids flew at her, hugging her waist and chanting 'Grandma Esme' before Millie spoke above the noise. "We're going to be a family, Grandma Esme! I'm going to have a brother and a sister now!"

Esme beamed as she knelt down and pulled all three kids into her arms. "That makes me so happy to hear, my Millie. So very happy."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I totally listened on Pieces by Red on repeat during the entire date night. :) .com/watch?v=x3U6BCUQqG8**

**Here's your warning, this chapter contains long awaited citrus. Thanks to my beta AgoodWITCH for her work to get this and the last chapter to me after her internet fail issues yesterday. She's so awesome. Also thanks to Sarah and Dee for prereading. **

**Two more chapters to go...and now I'm off to clean the house for the NYE party I didn't know I was throwing until late Monday night. Fun times! LOL! See you soon!**

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Chapter 8

The few days that followed our all night talk were chocked full. Jake came as promised the next two days, having to leave a bit early the last day because Nessie was having problems with the baby. He did something very redeeming before he left though, he hugged our kids to his chest and kissed their heads before looking into their eyes.

"I know I didn't show it at the beginning of the week, but I miss you guys so much. I just want to make sure you know, I love Bianca, but she would never replace the two of you in my heart, okay? I love you so much and I can't wait until you come visit again."

He hugged them both tightly before waving toward Edward and me, who stood watching from the living area, and then turning to leave. The kids turned back to us looking so down it just broke my heart, but I had to admit that I was relieved they were down because they had a good time with their Dad, as opposed to a bad time with him.

Edward and I fed all three kids their lunches while Esme attended to the new guests that had just arrived. When we were done, Edward grabbed out his phone and typed out a message. A few seconds later, he looked up with a smile.

"Well, guys, how would you feel about taking a little field trip?"

All three kids got wide, excited looks as they all begged to know where we were going. Edward looked to me with wink before glancing back their way. "How do you feel about ice skating?" The answering squeal from the children left my ears ringing and a smile on my face.

The rink was still closed as we pulled in and unloaded our massive amounts of gear. It took fifteen minutes to get all three kids properly bundled and outfitted with skates, but as soon as they were dressed, they took off. Well, Millie and Braxton took off, both having had the opportunity to take lessons and go to ice skating parties before, while Bailey whimpered on the edge of the ice afraid to get out there until Edward came out of the shed and walked over to scoop her up in his arms. She giggled as he sped around the rink with her, lifting her into the air so the cold wind blew strands of her hair across her face.

After a couple of laps, he sat her back down on her feet and patiently explained and helped her skate on her own. As I watched him take care of my baby, my heart grew three times larger in my chest, the warmth from the love I felt growing stronger for him, warming me from my toes to my nose.

I managed to stay on the sidelines, watching as Edward and the kids frolicked on the ice, safe from my less than graceful tendencies, until they all realized I was missing and came over to tug me as a group onto the ice. The kids laughed at my horrible skills. Even little Bailey was ten times the skater I was, having caught on amazingly quickly. It didn't seem fair…she's only learned to walk without stumbling just a few short months ago, and yet she managed to maintain her balance far better than I ever could.

We laughed and played in the cold air that day, until the threat of twilight forced us back to the lodge, where we spent the rest of the night wrapped up together on the couch in the living area, just the five of us, sipping cocoa and watching movies.

When it came time for bed, Edward suggested that we should all have a slumber party out in his cabin. It served a multi leveled purpose. One, it was his last night with Millie not interrupted by long nighttime shifts at work. Two, it kept the kids out of the lodge in the morning where they ran the risk of waking the new boarders earlier than they might like. And three, it allowed Edward and I to spend another night cuddled up in his bed safely, since little eyes and ears would be sleeping nearby. The kids loved the idea, happily collecting their belongings to trek out to Edward's cabin, made even smaller by all the extra energetic bodies. We brought along some leftover CinEsme rolls to feed the kids for breakfast, so we would be all set until mid morning when we would return after the risk of rudely waking the other guests had passed.

Edward and Millie joined us for our nighttime routine, loving our traditional process of stories, prayers, and songs. When we were done, the three kids were tucked in on the palette we made at the foot of the bed before we climbed up and curled together on the soft mattress, stealing quiet kisses and soft caresses. Eventually sleep claimed us, only to be interrupted a few hours later when the first of our three little monkeys, little Bailey, climbed up to curl happily in between us.

By morning, Braxton had cuddled to my back, and Millie to Edward's, and again my heart throbbed with another growth spurt. At this rate, I was going to end up being nothing but one giant, walking heart. The thought made me chuckle, which brought Edward out of his light nap to gaze at me.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked with glittering eyes as he rubbed a hand through his hair.

I shook my head and refused to answer. He just smiled at me, and carefully leaned to kiss my forehead before glancing around at the little pile we had now found ourselves a part of. His eyes softened even more before he let out a slow sigh. "I wish it could always be like this. I wish I could have custody of Millie again and you guys lived here with us and we could wake up every morning surrounded by our kids, and maybe even one or two more down the road to round out the numbers."

I smiled and nibbled my lip. "That does sound pretty wonderful, Mr. Cullen. Maybe one day we'll get there."

He reached out to take my hand and squeezed with a nod. "One day..."

We didn't get to talk anymore because a few seconds later the monkeys awoke from their sleep, fully wound and ready for a new day. We ate our breakfast and bundled up to play in the new blanket of snow that had fallen the night before and then riding in the horse drawn carriage Esme and Carlisle hired to shuttle people back and forth for the last day of the festival. After Edward left for work that evening, the three kids and I cuddled up in front of the fire and read books together in our pajamas. Millie asked if she could be part of our bedtime routine and sleep with us that night. I made her ask Esme before allowing her to bunk in with us. She stayed there the next two nights while Edward worked all the way up to New Year's Eve.

To my immense surprise, the kids didn't wake up early as they typically tended to do, instead giving me the great pleasure of having Edward's soft kiss on my temple bring on the fluttering open of my eyes. I smiled sleepily up at him rasping out a sleepy 'hi' as he gazed down at me with soft, loving eyes. I felt a movement to my right and smiled as I felt Millie turn and wrap her arm around me, snuggling into my stomach with a sigh.

"I wish her mother was more like you. She's missing out on that connection and she's starving for it. You can see it in how she interacts with you. In this single week, you've been ten times more of a mother to her than her own has ever been. Thank you for loving her and showing her what motherly love feels like."

My eyes grew watery as I moved my hand to reach for his, tugging him down to join us on the bed. He smiled before cuddling in behind his daughter and kissing the back of her head, holding my hand in his above his heart as we stared at each other.

We got about ten minutes of quiet reflection together before Millie began to stir, her eyes blinking open slowly before she looked behind her. Her eyes popped wide before she sat up and squealed, hugging her dad around the neck.

"It's my birthday, Daddy! I'm six today!"

Edward chuckled and looked at his watch. "Correction, you'll be six in two hours and twenty-three minutes. You better go get your teeth brushed and dressed so you look presentable when your birthday begins."

She squealed and jumped out of bed, barreling out of the room, her tiny feet thundering down the hall toward Esme and Carlisle's quarters. Thankfully, it was already after 8:30, so with any luck most of the guest would already be awake.

Edward curled up closer to me, kissing my lips softly as Braxton and Bailey sat up in bed looking half asleep still. Braxton blinked and rubbed at his eyes before yawning and turning to Edward.

"Is she always so loud in the mornings on her birthday?"

Edward and I both laughed, knowing they were all that loud every morning, it's just today he was still asleep when it started.

"Yes, and so are you," I teased, mussing his hair with my hand. He grumbled and turned away before getting off the bed and shuffling to the bathroom. Bailey's eyes followed him before she laid back on the bed with a sigh and covered her eyes with her hands.

Edward looked at her before looking back at me with a crooked smile. "What? Are they hung over?"

I laughed. "With the copious amounts of sugar your mother has been plying them with, I'm surprised their not in a full on sugar coma yet."

Edward laughed before helping me out of the bed and then sweeping Bailey up in his arms and tickling her until she giggled so hard she got tears in her eyes. The morning sped by as the kids played happily in the yard with Edward as I helped Esme take care of the boarders and then switch gears into birthday mode. By the time the kids came back inside, the dining area had been transformed into party central, completely with pink and purple streamers stretching across the room, to balloons, party hats, party blowers, and a cake shaped like a castle, which was most definitely all Esme!

The next three hours were insane as the two other friends of Millie's from town came over and the five children partied it down. There was dancing, games, more dancing, cake, even more dancing, and the presents. Edward spent the entire time keeping the kids entertained and having a grand time himself while Esme and I fought to keep things as orderly as we possibly could.

After the guests left, the kids sort of melted in the living room area playing with Millie's presents while Esme, Edward, and I cleaned up. We were almost done when we realized it had gotten really quiet. We peeked into the great room to find all three kids had passed out around the room. Bailey climbed up on the couch and curled up, sucking her thumb and holding the skirt of her dress to her chest like a blankie. Millie was stretched out across her new Disney Princess fold out couch, a princess book laying haphazardly across her chest, while Braxton was crashed out in the reading chair, another of the books she had gotten about a group of pirates captained by a girl had fallen out of his hand to the floor beside the chair.

We all suppressed a chuckle before moving back into the kitchen to rest our feet and sip on some coffee. We'd only been chatting about fifteen minutes when Esme stood up with a smile. "I know I'll never convince the two of you to go spend some time on your own while the kids were up, but I want them to stay with Carlisle and I tonight so that the two of you can have a real, true blue, New Year's Eve date."

I crinkled my brow and shook my head. "No Esme. You've done so much already for us. I don't want to put you out."

She shooed away my arguments with her hands. "Nonsense. For me, all three of those kids are like my grandbabies now…my grandbabies that will start going back to their lives far away from here far too soon for my liking. I want to spend as much time with them as I can before you go back home. Besides, you and Edward deserve a night to be young and in love. Go out on the town, stay in at his place, do whatever you want, but please savor the moments you have before you have to be separated. Trust an old biddy who suffered through her fair share of a long distance relationship, you need to savor every single second you can manage."

I glanced at Edward who was smiling at his mom before flickering his eyes to me. I gazed at him for a moment before smiling wryly in his direction a moment before turning back to Esme. "If you're sure, Esme."

She propped her fists on her hips and glowered at me making me chuckle.

"Okay then. That sounds like a good plan to me. Thank you, Esme."

She beamed at us before turning back to her baking for the afternoon tea time she had set aside in an attempt to make her English guests feel more at home. I smiled as I watched her, thinking of how it was so typical Esme, going out of her way to make others happy, but as to all outward appearances, doing so made her happy too.

Edward and I left her to her work, tiptoeing past the kids before making a stealthy dash to my room, falling together once the door was shut. His hands were adventurous as we shuffled around the room, finally finding the bed and falling on it side by side. After a long while, Edward's lips broke from mine so he could pant into my face, a sly smile on his lips.

"How would you feel about a night in at my cabin tonight? We can have dinner, a little wine, do a little dancing in front of the fireplace. What do you say?"

I smiled and shifted myself closer before peppering his neck with kisses. I wanted to groan as I let my tongue peak out to taste his flesh, the warm salty flavor making me weak in the knees. "Sounds. Like. Heaven." I replied between soft kisses upon his Adam's Apple. He moaned as I ran my tongue around the protrusion, smiling as the vibrations tickled my tongue and rumbled straight between my legs. My imagination ran wild, wondering what sounds he would make when I caressed him, pleasured him, and finally joined with him. The thought alone made my muscles twitch in anticipation.

Edward smiled at me, his hooded eyes telling me his thoughts were probably traveling in the same directions as my own. We kissed a little longer before parting ways for the afternoon so he could prepare and I could figure out what on earth I would be wearing. My question was answered moments later when I opened the closet to scan my belongings only to find a brand new blue cocktail dress hanging on the inside of the door. I glanced at the paper attached to the hanger before snickering into my hand. That Esme had a way of manipulating the world around her. Granted it was always to the good, but I dreaded the day she ever decided to use her powers for evil, for we'd all be sunk.

I pulled the dress from the place it hung, removed the plastic protecting it, and held it up to my front. It appeared to be nearly perfect. I couldn't help but wonder where Esme managed to find it in Everwood, but quickly forgot my train of thought as I began stripping to try on the dress, squealing like Millie when it was on, hugging my curves so perfectly that it was a tease in and of itself. The soft taffeta of the royal blue dress began with a deep v before hugging my chest and then narrowing down to follow the dip of my waist, flaring again at the hips, only leaving the slightest hint of the top of my behind. The skirt was modest yet flirty, falling just a couple of inches above my knees. It actually was the perfect dress for me, not overly fancy, but not completely boring either. I loved it.

I carefully removed the dress and hung it back up before hopping into the shower and beginning the frustrating process of drying and styling my hair. The kids managed to sleep up until the very end of my hair styling process, running in to ooh and ahh over my long soft curls before running back out again to find Grandma Esme.

I followed them out with a chuckle to spend a few more minutes with them before I had to leave them for the night. I didn't get much time before Edward popped his head in with a smile, freezing for a moment when his eyes fell on me, before shaking off his daze and looking back to the kids with a smile.

"Who wants to come help me in the cabin?"

Three tiny cheers rang out before they all took off like a herd of elephants to grab their boots and coats.

Edward stepped through the door, banging the snow off his shoes before coming to stand before me and reaching out to touch my hair softly. "You look beautiful, Bella. I can't wait to spend some time alone with you tonight."

I nibbled my lip with a shy smile as I looked up at him through my lashes. Edward sucked in a deep breath before reaching to fee my lip from under my teeth and then leaning down to kiss it softly before suckling softly on the flesh I'd just bit down on. I sighed and leaned in closer, my hands sliding up to bury themselves in his soft hair. We savored the kiss for a moment or two before the loud clomping of booted feet forced us apart. Edward smiled, kissing my cheek once more before turning to the kids with an excited smile.

"Okay guys, I need your help. Let's get going!"

With that, the quartet disappeared through the door, leaving me with nothing better to do than get dressed for the evening.

An hour later, makeup in place, dress back on along with hose and matching heels, I emerged from my room to find a trail of small, irregularly-cut paper hearts on the floor. They led from my door and down the hallway toward the door that led to Edward's cabin. I followed the trail of tiny paper hearts to the door to find a coat waiting, along with a note.

"Put on the coat and exit the lodge. There you will find a sled waiting for you. Climb aboard and enjoy the ride."

I stepped out of the house after putting on the coat to find the large white, horse drawn sled waiting, three pink cheeked children bundled like Eskimos with soft blankets draped across their laps smiled at me happily from within the sled.

"Well, what is this? Do I have a troop of chauffer's to travel with me tonight?"

They giggled, motioning for me to climb in. The driver remained seated in a top hat and coat with tails while I clambered in. As soon as I was seated, the kids settled in around me with happy giggles and once we were all settled we were off, taking a much more scenic route to Edward's house than I had anticipated. The four of us laughed and made excited exclamations as we rode all through the property, getting to see a hidden lake I didn't know what on site, as well as several other more obscure cabins on the property.

Once we had a thorough tour of the land, the sled pulled in front of Edward's cabin where he waited with a bright smile in a button down dress shirt, tie, and dark slacks. "Did you guys have a nice ride?"

The kids chattered excitedly as Edward helped me climb down kissing the top of my head once I was standing at his side.

"Well, I'm glad. Mr. Tomlinson is going to take you three back to the lodge where Grandma Esme is waiting with warm cocoa and fresh cookies. We will see you guys in the morning, okay?"

They all excitedly chimed their agreement before sliding back toward the lodge atop the snow. It hadn't missed my notice that my kids didn't even insist on a hug. I was pleased they felt so comfortable here, but it still made me a little sad.

The sadness didn't last long though as Edward led me into the house to see it covered in child created decorations. I laughed and moved to look at the paper girl and boy chains draped across the fireplace and more tiny odd-shaped hearts laying a path on the floor to the small table set for two. Edward led me happily to the table, uncovering two delicious looking plates of spaghetti.

Edward blushed slightly as he looked at the bounty we would soon partake. "Sorry, it's one of the few dishes I cook well. Guess I should have warned you."

I gave him a sidelong glance and a smirk. "I'm not a veal cutlet girl anyway. I think this looks delicious! Please tell me we have garlic bread to go with it and this will be the best date ever!"

Edward's eyes twinkled as he unveiled the small basket filled with slices of Italian bread tinted yellow with butter and garlic. I sighed happily, stealing a piece and taking a bite. Edward chuckled before taking a bit of his own.

Dinner was nice as Edward kept staring at me with googly eyes that made me blush and kept complimenting my dress and hair. When the meal was done, he quickly cleared it before pushing the table aside and leading me to dance with him in front of the fireplace as a song that used to make me sad when I heard it made my heart warm in my chest. It was as if he were taking the words straight from my heart and playing them for me as Pieces by Red rang softly around us as he held me close, his nose nearly grazing mine as he stared down at me, my entire countenance turning to mush.

As the chorus began to carry on the air for the first time, Edward leaned down to softly claim my lips before pulling away again. "You do that, Bella. I'm not sure how, but you make me whole in a way I never thought was possible. I love you so much. Please tell me you're going to be able to come back in February."

I smiled and nodded. "I promise."

He smiled before leaning down to kiss me again, pulling me impossibly closer, his hand at the small of my back. "I had given up on having a family again, well at least not a traditional one, but you, Braxton, and Bailey already feel like you complete my family. I am so grateful you crashed into my life."

I giggled before moving to rest my ear over his heart, sighing at the steady cadence. We moved slowly for the next several songs, just savoring the feeling of being close as our time together was drawing steadily toward its end. My heart ached at the idea of leaving Edward, but real life was calling. Part of me really wanted to pick up and move to Everwood. It was a very tempting option considering I had a job I could do anywhere and we all adored Everwood, but I knew that wasn't something I could do as a rational, responsible adult. Instead, I resolved to myself that I would go home with my kids, allow Braxton to finish out his school year, continue my relationship with Edward from afar, and see what would come from that. I had no doubt that if all went well with us, I would eventually make the jump to move to Everwood with my kids. In reality, I had no real ties keeping me in Phoenix, but it was a scary gamble on something so new.

After a few more songs, we moved to sit together on a palette of blankets and pillows in front of the small hearth with a bottle of sparkling wine and two tall skinny flutes. We talked and laughed and stole small kisses between sips of wine and funny anecdotes until the minute hand inches closer and closer to midnight.

Edward held me close as we watched the second hand, counting down to the last second and when the clock struck twelve, Edward kissed me softly before whispering into my lips. "Now we start a new year and a new life together. I can just feel it, Bella. This is how it was always meant to be. I know we're going to make this work."

I smiled before rolling myself to rest on top of him, forcing his knees apart so I could rest in the cradle of his hips, holding myself above him with my hands, my hair falling around us like a curtain. Edward's eyes were so clear as he reached up to push my hair behind my ear before caressing my cheek and pulling me down for a soft, gentle kiss. I melted into his kiss as my chest relaxed against his.

Our kisses started off soft and sweet, but soon became intense and heated, his body reacting beneath mine as I shifted myself above him, rubbing my promised land over his. His hands drifted higher and higher to finally cup my breasts, tentatively as if asking for permission. In reply, I arched my back, pushing them further into his hands with a moan. Edward's replying moan sent shivers down my spine as his thumbs drifted over the taut tips, his hips lifting to meet mine as his lips moved to drift and suck across my neck.

After what seemed like an eternity of Edward not pushing any further, I decided to make the next move, reaching between us to pull the tie he had loosened earlier in the evening off completely before beginning to go to work unbuttoning his dress shirt. I wasn't even halfway done when Edward leaned back, his eyes focused on mine with extreme sincerity.

"Bella, are you sure? We don't have to. I meant it when I said I'd wait however long you needed."

I smiled and licked my lips before leaning down to kiss his. "I've had all the time I need, Edward. I love you and I want to be with you. I made a decision tonight while we were dancing. I'm going to go back home day after tomorrow so Braxton can finish out his school year and we can have a chance to develop this relationship further, but if things go as I expect they will, then I'll most likely move to Everwood in the next year or so. Until then, we are going to visit as often as we can. I thought I knew what love was, but I really didn't until I met you. I want to share my love with you in every way, Edward. If you'll have me, that is."

The second the last word left my mouth, Edward was sitting up, pulling me to his chest as his kissed me hard, his hands reaching down to push my skirt up a little before directing me to straddle his lap. His hands were everywhere as his mouth plundered mine greedily. When he eventually broke away, his eyes were the darkest green I'd ever seen, the sea-glass deepened into a color that almost looked evergreen.

"I'll always want you, Bella…forever. I never dreamed in a million years I would find myself saying that after one short week, but you walking into my life is a miracle that I refuse to ignore. You've restored a part of me that I never even knew was missing, the piece of me that you carried with you that made me whole. I want to make love to you, Bella. Will you allow me the honor?"

My eyes watered as I nodded before sliding my hands into his hair and pulling his face to mine, caressing his lips with mine before exploring the warm depths of his mouth. As I kissed him, adoring his mouth as I planned to do every bit of him piece by little piece, his hands roamed my body, caressing the swells of my breast before grazing my sides to cup my butt and slid down to massage my thighs before drifting back up again.

On the third circuit, they stopped at the back neckline of my dress, grasping the toggle of my zipper and slowly pulling it down to where it stopped at the small of my back. I couldn't help but whimper at the sensation when his hands slid back up to smooth across the expanse of my back, leaving tingles in their wake.

I let his hands caress my back for a long while before I pulled back and lifted my right hand to my left shoulder and pulled the material of the dress down, exposing my bare shoulder, and the swell of my breast above my left demi bra cup. Edward stared at the newly revealed flesh with hooded eyes before glancing back to me as I bit my lip. He smirked, leaning back on his hands to watch the show as I kept my eyes on his and slowly lowered the fabric from my right shoulder, letting the soft material of the dress fall to my waist, the dark blue satin bra I was wearing now on full display. Edward held my eyes until the material fell to my waist, causing him to stare down at my barely covered chest.

When his eyes found mine again, he looked almost as if he were in awe, which made me want to chuckle. At this point, I was still feeling okay about myself, my hideous c-section scar still hidden under the fabric leaving my best bodily asset on display.

Edward spoke almost reverently as he reached out one finger to softly caress the swell of my right breast. "You are so beautiful. I always knew you were, but I wasn't prepared for how perfect you are."

He noticed my eyes look downcast and furrowed his brow as he sat up cupping my face in his hands. "What's the matter, love? Did I say or do something wrong?"

My voice cracked as I replied. "I just wish you hadn't said that, because I am most certainly not perfect. Perhaps I should tell you before I show you." I shifted back to sit further back on his legs, giving us room to talk as Edward watched with a very anxious expression.

"I guess I should start with telling you about Braxton. He almost didn't survive delivery. He was breech and while the doctors offered the option of external version, I turned it down because somewhere deep inside I knew that would put him in distress. Instead, we scheduled a c-section. When the doctors went to deliver him, he was stuck. They were forced to do another incision and then extend it and I was left with a rather large and unattractive scar. Bailey was delivered cesarean as well, but there were no complications with her, so the vertical incision did not have to be reopened, but it is still very unattractive. Jake was very turned off by it, and I wanted to warn you before you saw it and it made you disgusted too."

Edward's eyes flashed with anger, his brow furrowed and his lips thinned as he reached forward to pull me to him again, his hands holding my cheeks as he stared into my eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that I am not Jake? I don't see how any man could find a mark indicating the sacrifices you made to save your son anything less than beautiful, but Jake does appear to be a breed all his own. Please don't hide yourself from me or feel that the beauty I see in you is due to some ideal. To me, your beauty is on the inside and shines out. Not only that, some of my favorite things about you are things that most of the world might consider tiny imperfections, and yet I adore them. I love how your top lip is just a little bit fuller than your bottom, making it impossible to resist nibbling it."

He demonstrated, causing my heart to skip a beat. His lips moved from my mouth down to a spot on my collarbone that he caressed softly with his lips a few times. "And I love these three little freckles right here. I've stared at those more than once since you came here, wanting to do," he kissed the spot, "what I'm doing," he licked it slowly, "right now," and then suckled the flesh there gently making me sigh and shift my head a little to give him more room.

He pulled away with a smirk, his hands roaming my sides before moving down to massage my thighs again, his thumbs inside to massage as they drifted slightly higher before moving to my waist again, holding tight as he gazed into my eyes.

"Don't you understand, Bella? I love all of you. Nothing is going to change that, sweetheart. Absolutely nothing. Will you show me? Please?"

I swallowed hard as I stared at him before reaching with shaky hands for the material of the dress pooled at my waist. I grabbed it and started to raise it, fumbling a little until Edward reached out assist me. I shivered a little as the dress went over my head, and was tossed on the couch nearby, leaving me in my bra, panties, hose, and heels. Edward's eyes roamed my body before reaching my eyes again, his hands resting on my waist once more, his thumbs drifting back and forth across my stomach. He was waiting for me to take the initiative.

I nibbled my lip before slowly standing up. I kicked off my heels and removed my hose as Edward watched every move, his eyes focused on the ice blue satin of my bikini briefs. He looked up at me with encouragement before glancing back down at the underwear. With shaky hands I reached down and pulled the front of my underwear down to reveal the vertical indention in my abdomen, now only slightly darker than the flesh around it, and the small, barely visible horizontal line it bisected right above my pubic bone.

I felt my whole body trembling as he stared, his eyes soft. I was surprised when he suddenly shifted to kneel in front of me and kissed the hideous line as he grasped my hips in his large hands. My heart pounded and knees nearly failed me as he kissed all the way down the scar before kissing across it's transverse counterpart. He kissed back up to the top of the scar ending about two inches below my belly button and looked up at me as he rested his chest there as he wrapped his arms to hug my hips.

"You are even more beautiful to me. This is not hideous, Bella. Not in the slightest."

I began to sob as I ran my hands through his hair. Edward was up in an instant, holding me in his arms as we rocked slowly to the music. He nuzzled my hair and kissed my wet cheeks before tipping my head to kiss my lips.

When we broke apart, he looked down at me with shimmering eyes. "I want to make love to you now more than ever, Bella. Do you still want me?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "With all my heart."

With that, Edward bent down and whisked me into his arms, carrying me to his bedroom where he set me carefully on his bed, his lips trailing down my neck and he laid down next to me, his hand sliding across my waist slowly as my hands once again found their favorite home in his hair.

Edward pulled back to stare down at me with warm, loving eyes as his hand trailed up and down my torso before drifting up to dance across my breast, teasing along the top edge of the satin before dipping down slightly to graze my waiting nipples. Eventually he moved to the front clasp, snapping it open with one hand, letting the material fall away to reveal my bare breasts.

Edward hummed, his body tensing in response before he let his fingers drift back across the soft, newly exposed flesh. I hummed and arched toward him as my hand explored the long smooth planes of his chest and abs before reaching his pants and popping the button, smiling as I felt his need for me pressing hard against the zipper as I lowered it slowly, letting my finger graze him through the material of his underwear.

I smiled as the slight little bit of pressure was rewarded with a guttural moan from Edward, his fingers growing firmer on my breast as he rolled my nipples between his fingers before leaning in to capture one between his lips. I arched off the bed into his mouth, my hands gripping his hair and pulling him closer as I mewled into the dimly lit room. He continued to suckle one nipple while rolling the other causing me to gasp and moan before he eventually kissed his way to my lips, his left hand roaming my waist as he whispered, "and that's just the start, my love."

He pulled the bra from behind me as he moved to rest above me. My legs parted for him, cradling him between them, aligning his hardened self behind the underwear and open pants with my now ruined panties. He hummed as the warmth and moisture found him through the layers before he told me he loved me again and began kissing down my body again.

He spent a good deal of time teasing my breasts again as his other hand slid down and over my hip to tease at the top of my underwear before slipping behind the damp fabric. He groaned against my chest as his fingers slid effortlessly through my completely ready folds. He repositioned his body slightly while continuing to tease me with his mouth before pushing one finger inside, his thumb pushing on my bundle of nerves above, rubbing in slow, steady circles.

His fingers continued working as his mouth moved down the length of my stomach, lapping at my bellybutton and along the top of my underwear before he pushed them down my legs with his unoccupied hand and settled back to watch as I moaned and writhed under his attentions.

"You were so wrong, you are perfect. I bet you will feel as perfect on my tongue as you do on my hand," and without warning, he buried his face between my legs, a second finger sliding into my opening as his tongued began to assault my excited bundle.

I twisted the sheets in my fists as I quickly flew toward my climax, nearly coming off the bed as I was hit by wave after wave. Edward held me down with his free arm as he continued to lave at me, his fingers continuing to twist and move before they curled and tapped on a space that felt like it was right behind where his tongue worked steadily at me.

My hands flew into his hair as my stomach muscles clenched causing me to do a couple involuntary ab crunches as my body spasmed all over while I screamed and begged him not to stop. When the waves finally ended, Edward licked his way back up my gelatinous body, appearing to no longer possess any bones or muscles to move with the exception of my chest that rose and fell hard with my heavy pants.

As he reached my lips, his hips rested between my legs, surprising me to find that at some point he had shed his clothes and managed to slide on a condom. The hard heat of him, slipping between the slippery folds to tease my clit up and down, caused the muscles and bones to magically reappear. I reached out to him, one hand tugging his face down to mine as the other reached down to grasp at his perfectly sculpted ass cheek and hold him to me as I ground up into him. He hummed into my mouth as I moved my hip in small circles before adjusting us so that his head was seated at my entrance.

He froze and looked down at me, his eyes warm and full of longing as he waited for an answer. Instead, I pulled him back to do claim my lips as I lifted up to meet him, accepting him in one long slow movement. Once he was fully seated within me, he lifted up on his elbows to look down at me, raining little kisses down on my face before pulling back again.

"I am home," was all he said, but I understood completely, because I felt exactly the same way.

We moved in perfect synchronicity, our bodies seeming to know things that our minds did not as we met one another move for move. It wasn't long before we were hot and sweaty and I was so close to falling over the edge, I had already lost some feeling in my toes. I watched Edward above me, his muscles contracting so smoothly and perfectly, I wanted to lick every narrow ridge. Edward stared back down at me with an expression of nearly painful ecstasy. His eyes found mine and he grunted out those three little words one more time, sending me hurtling over the edge. He was right behind me, his delicious grunts and groans making me want to cause him to climax over and over and over, just to hear his sounds.

Edward's arms were shaky as he leaned down to kiss me again, telling me how grateful he was for me before finally moving to rest beside me and pulling me on top of him again. I smiled and cuddled against his chest, falling asleep listening to his heartbeat.

We woke up early the next morning, beating the sunrise by nearly a whole hour as we made love again in the muted light of dawn. Now that we'd passed that hurdle, I felt totally insatiable. I couldn't get enough of him, as he appeared to feel of me as well.

We showered together before finally making our way back to the main lodge mid-morning, finding ourselves physically accosted by the kids as we entered. We had fun together, but the day was bittersweet knowing it would all soon end and my kids and I would be leaving this beautiful, magical place.

We had a sleepover at Edward's that night, all five of us cuddled up on the fresh, clean linens Edward and I had placed on the bed before we left for the lodge. We woke up around dawn to pack and load, eating a quiet breakfast with everyone in the great room before the dreaded departure. Millie attached herself to me, begging me to visit again the next time she came while my two kids tackled Edward. After a while they went off to hug Esme and Carlisle and one another, leaving Edward and I alone in the hallway.

He held me close before kissing me deeply and pushing a long white envelope in my hand. I opened it and stared down at the contents with watery eyes. In my hand were six open ended round trip tickets for me and the kids.

"Edward, these must have cost a fortune. I could have…"

He interrupted me with a kiss before hugging me close. "I just wanted to make it easy and make it perfectly clear that you are welcome here whenever you want. You aren't a guest in our lives anymore. You are my family and I want you to come back as often as you can. I love you so much, Bella. To quote a cheesy Tom Cruise movie, You complete me. I thought that line was so pathetic, but now I understand, Bella."

I wiped at my tears before squeezing him hard around the waist. "I love you too, Edward. We will figure this out. I promise."

We walked with our arms wrapped around one another's waists as we made our way to the main room. Esme tugged me away from Edward to give me a massive hug and thank me for bringing her son back to the man he used to be. Carlisle did similarly before letting me go. They all walked us out of the car and helped get the kids settled before I found myself standing by the door, hugging Edward and sobbing. I didn't want to go, but I knew I had to…at least for now.

With one last deep, passionate kiss, I got behind the wheel, started the car and drove away, watching Edward wave in my rearview until he was out of sight. As I pulled through Everwood, I felt such a strong sense of sadness. The feeling reminded me so much of when I was young and had to go to school when all I really wanted was to stay home with Mom.

I watched the spire of the large white church disappear in the background as I left Everwood, the place that I knew was my home now, whether I owned a house there or not. I swore to myelf, my love, and my kids, that we would not be gone for long…not if I had anything to say about it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Well guys, this is the last regular chappie before the epi and it spans a ton of time throughout the course of a little under 4k words! I've been giggling at some of the reviews because many of you knew or at least hoped for what was coming. I'm probably pretty predictable. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am an HEA author. I can't help it! I like my happy ending! That being said there was only a few ways this could turn out in order to meet the requirements for an ACW Story. Hope you like it. Thanks to AgoodWITCH for getting this back to me while sick…poor thing. Hope you feel better hon. Also thanks to Sarah and Deena for pre-reading!**

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Chapter 9

It seemed as though I was never going to get home. Thankfully, my car was equipped with Bluetooth, so I could talk hands free, as Edward and I called each other four separate times during the fifteen hour drive home. When we pulled up in front of the house, it felt empty and hollow. Honestly, it hadn't really felt like a home to me since Jake split, but I wanted to kids to keep their rooms and their homes. They were being disrupted enough, leaving the only house they had ever known just seemed like too much to ask. Now, knowing my heart was in Everwood, it felt like even less than a home than before.

That didn't stop me though as I settled back into life with one slight difference, I had nightly calls with Edward to keep me going. They were the caffeine injections for my weary soul that kept me trudging forward. Those calls also fuelled the creative muse constructing plots in the back of my mind. I got up each morning, taking Braxton to kindergarten before dropping Bailey off at preschool and then going back home to write nonstop until it was time to unplug to pick them up again. Within the first month, I had powered through three quarters of the book with no signs of slowing. In addition, I had even sat down and typed out a few chapters and a crude outline for a companion series…an idea inspired by my recent life changes with real potential.

The second week of February, Edward came to see us and it was wonderful. My shell of a house suddenly felt so full of everything, and it solidified what I had already thought when we first returned from Everwood. My home was where my heart was, and it now resided inside Edward. Unless we were together, I wasn't going to feel at home again.

He got to stay for three glorious days. The daylight hours were spent showing Edward around Phoenix and cuddled together as a quartet on the couch under blankets watching movies and missing Millie. It was nice having the four of us together, but it was incomplete and we all felt it.

The nighttime hours, after the kids were sound asleep in their beds, we spent many a passionate hour interlocked on my bed, panting and sweating as we tried every position I'd ever tried before plus some new ones and were still not satiated. Our last night was Valentine's Day, which Edward celebrated with wine, music, dancing, and the most beautiful love making I'd ever experienced, followed by a very loud round two that had me worried that my children who had literally slept through earthquakes might have woken. Thankfully, they had not as we barely had the energy to breathe, much less move. We stayed together as a tangled heap behind the rarely locked door to my bedroom until morning when little hands began to knock.

It was a bittersweet goodbye, but it wasn't nearly as hard as before. We had already survived a month and a half and were closer and stronger for it. I was beginning to have more and more faith that we would make it in the end.

Before he left, Edward made the best offer ever, and the kids and I jumped at the opportunity. The end of March was going to be Edward's next visitation with Millie. He had made plans long before to travel to LA to see her and take her to Disneyland, and invited the four of us to join them. We agreed immediately and with one last long kiss goodbye after I sent the kids inside, I had to stand and wave as Edward drove away. I waited until he was out of sight and even stared a little longer, wishing he would reappear, and yet knowing he would not before finally going inside.

I finished the book the first week of March and sent it off to my agent who went crazy for it and loved the proposal I had sent along with it for the companion series. Darklight would be the alternate reality to Lightforce, following the same events, but with a different outcome as a result of a single decision. It had come to me as I sat one night after getting off the phone with Edward and realized how much sadder and completely lost I would have been feeling in that moment had I not chosen to give us a chance. I pictured myself bitter and angry, sitting in front of a blank computer screen with a deadline looming and no inspiration because my writing comes from my heart and my heart still would have been cold and dormant when it came to anything outside my kids. There's no way to write about true love and light in the world when you've lost all faith in both. Then I began to think beyond that, to my career that would have no doubt wilted immediately, my kids who would have ultimately suffered from my malady, and on and on. One scary, difficult decision made differently and my life would have been so much _less_.

The publishers were so excited, they offered a very lucrative contract for the Darklight companion series, and amended my initial contract to allow more time for me to incorporate the Darklight series and to add a little financial incentive if the book reached certain sales numbers within projected deadlines. It was a major coup and just another shot in the arm to my confidence as the kids and I loaded up for the much, much shorter drive to LA.

Millie and Edward met us at the Disney Hotel, hugging us all tightly before leading us directly to our two bedroom suite. It was a nice accommodation with a gorgeous view. The kids excitedly went off to pick their beds while Edward and I took my suitcases to the bedroom and fell into a passionate kiss, only to be interrupted a few minutes later by three excited kids ready to explore.

The kids dragged us all over that god-forsaken park for the next two and a half days. I still don't know how we managed to have enough energy to make love every night, but we weren't about to waste a few days together. Having all five of us together again felt so RIGHT. As insane as I knew it was, I had made up my mind.

The last night we were there, Edward and I were curled up together in bed after a slow, sweet round of lovemaking when I propped my head up on my arm and broke my big news.

"Edward, I want to talk to you about something."

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly in response before he reached up to push my hair out of the way and nodded for me to go on.

"I made my decision. I'm going to contact realtors in Phoenix and Everwood when I get home and start discussing realty options. If you're not opposed to it, I think I want to move to Everwood this summer after Braxton's school year is over."

Edward's hand froze halfway to my face, his eyes wide and surprised. When he didn't respond after a few beats I blushed and started backpedaling, wondering if I was reading things all wrong. He halted my rambling by grabbing my face and pulling me down to him with a searing kiss.

"Please tell me I'm not dreaming," he finally panted with twinkling eyes as we broke our kiss.

I smiled and shook my head. "No, you're not dreaming, although I'm beginning to wonder if I'm losing my mind. This is so unlike me, but it just feels right, ya know?"

He nodded before pulling me down again and whispering against my lips. "I know…exactly what you mean." He rolled to brace himself over me as he kissed me passionately before entering me without warning. I gasped and arched before reaching up to grasp his back, encouraging him with my greedy hands. He repositioned us, staring down at me with those evergreen eyes as he worked my body intently until I was crying out in bliss, never breaking our gaze as he fell over with me. He fell limp to my side, holding me against him with all his might for the rest of the night.

Edward had three more days with Millie before he had to go home, but the kids and I had to return for Braxton's school. None of us wanted to leave, the kids all crying when we had to part. On the car ride home, I asked the kids how they felt about the idea of moving to Everwood. The vote was unanimous and after I dropped Braxton off to school that next morning, I picked up the phone and began calling.

The end of April marked Braxton's sixth birthday, and to his big surprise, two special guests appeared just as we were about to cut the cake. Braxton about knocked the cake off the table as he flew toward a smiling Edward and Grandma Esme, hugging them both tightly and squealing over and over about how they were the best present ever. Bailey was right behind him, refusing to let Edward put her down after he scooped her up and hugged her tightly before smothering her in kisses that left her giggling so hard she had tears in her eyes. They brought presents for both Braxton and me. Braxton got a tough kids digital camera of his very own, and I got a set of blueprints and a folder full of pictures.

After the party was over and the kids were finally tucked in after the tenth promise that Esme and Edward would still be there when they woke up, we finally settled down to look over what they were sent to deliver to me. I was facing two problems. The housing market was too soft for my house to get what I really wanted out of it, and Everwood was not giving me the purchasing options I had hoped for since nobody really seemed to move away. The only house available for sale within the town itself was far too small, and the others were way too far away from town for me to feel safe. That left me with a third option…building.

My realtor talked me into letting her search for the perfect piece of land while reaching out with her little networking fingers to find me the best contractors in a hundred mile radius and the best architect. Within a week of the start of my search, I already had a crackerjack team in place and was discussing with my contractor what I really wanted out of a house, making sure Edward was in on the decision-making, not only because I valued his opinion, but someday I hoped he would be living there with us. The architect was a genius as he managed to work in all the things both Edward and I suggested in the first draft.

Edward, Esme and I poured over the papers before flipping to the folder of pictures Harriet had sent of the land she had found that she believed was perfect. I gasped and my eyes teared up as I took in the scenery. Esme smiled and put her hand over mine.

"It's even better in person. I tell you Bella, it's as if this was another case of divine intervention, sweetheart. I couldn't have picked a more perfect place for you myself and it's within five minutes of the lodge. It's the ideal location!"

I nodded, turning to look at Edward with appraising eyes only to find him already staring at me. He nodded once making me smile before I picked up the phone and started dialing. An hour later, my bid on the land had been submitted and I took a deep breath as I made the first real step to making it all happen.

Another miracle happened three weeks later, only a week before the school year was ending for both my kids. A knock at the door at noon revealed a short older man with a tall young girl on his arm. At first, I thought it was his daughter, until I saw how they acted around each other. It made me sick to my stomach, but to my utter shock, he made me an offer ten minutes later without even seeing the rest of the house beyond the foyer and living room. I called my realtor who I directed him to in order to handle the paperwork before picking up the phone in a panic to call Edward. There was one really big condition that I wasn't sure how I was going to meet…the man wanted to take possession of the house in three weeks, and in the meantime the foundation was the only partially completed on my new home. I had no idea what I would do about my living situation in the interim.

Three weeks later, the kids and I were back in Everwood, our belongings in storage until the house was finished while we took up residence in one of the other cabins on the property about two hundred feet from Edward's front door.

The summer was perfect as we spent time together as a family unit, complete with grandparents, only missing one little girl who only got to join the fun for one week throughout the summer, and poor Edward even had to fight for that. I had wondered, but everyone had disregarded my musings that Leah might have a problem with Edward moving on. In the end, I was right. She didn't want him, but the thought of anyone else with him drove her crazy, so much so that she nearly took off to Europe with Millie during Edward's visitation time. The only thing that stopped her was the injunction I had my trusted attorney, J Jenks file on Edward's behalf the day before she took off. Fifteen hours later, Millie was delivered to our doorstep by a very haughty looking limo driver.

Again, the universe seemed to align as we were all reunited as a complete family. The week went far too quickly of course, but it was so wonderful while it lasted. I couldn't help but wonder if Edward might have a chance to regain custody of Millie. She was old enough now to speak up for herself and tell what she wanted, and it was no secret she wanted to come back home to Edward.

Jake also began taking a greater interest in his children again that summer, taking them for weekends, and to my great relief they seemed to enjoy themselves. Nessie was still a bitch, but with the baby pushing past the worst of the colic, life in the Black house was much calmer and more conducive to visitations.

I was amazed to watch the progress of the house while simultaneously pushing my way through editing with Chelsea who had held my hand through all my other books as well. She was just as psyched about Darklight as I was, offering to help me along the way to smooth things as we went. I had already gotten about thirty thousand words down for the first book. It was hard to live in the darkness, but it also made me appreciate so much more the light of my reality.

We got to move into our new house the last week of August, which unfortunately ended up also being Braxton's first day of school in Everwood. It actually ended up going pretty smoothly in the end. He left for school from the cabin, and came home at the end of the day to the new house full of our furniture and boxes that we hadn't seen since we left Phoenix. To my great relief, he had loved his first day at school, going on and on about his teacher and his new friends.

Bailey turned three two days later. I had a big barbecue at the house to celebrate and also as a housewarming event. Jake came and brought Nessie and Bianca. It wasn't the most comfortable day of my life, but we all survived. I was actually pleasantly surprised at how cordial Nessie had actually been. The only thing that really ticked me off about the whole day was the goo goo eyes she kept making at Edward. I was kind of surprised by the fighting instinct that kicked in as a response. I was angry and upset when Jake left with her, but even the thought of her going after Edward brought forth images of me ripping her head from her once again perfect size four body.

Edward, however, held me back with a soft kiss and a loving embrace before he whispered in my ear. "Never, ever worry about that with me, my love. I'm not going anywhere…ever."

I smiled up at him and kissed him back before getting back into Mom mode to oversee the cake and presents portion of the day. Bailey was tickled pink, but she did on more than one occasion mention wishing Millie had been there as well.

Fall passed in chaos as the publishers made a bold move and shifted my completed book up in the schedule with a major advertising push for the must see new novel by IMS Black. The air was saturated with TV spots and the net had banners plastered everywhere, taunting the public with the looming date that would translate into a major book tour, my first since I entered the land of single motherhood. I had began to panic when Esme stepped in with a firm hand and a loving tone informing me that I had a massive support system behind me and they would make sure both my kids were well cared for in my absence.

I spent the week following arguing with my agent who wanted me to do a two and a half week book tour, with no breaks to see my kids. I fought for one week, but ended up wrangling two weeks with a three day break in the middle to see the kids and the ability to bring them on the immediate weekend following for some nearby events.

The release, which was a skyrocketing success, hitting number three on the NY times bestseller list behind Patterson and Stephenie Meyers new novel in the first week. A week later, Hollywood came knocking with a movie offer, which I turned down cold. I had no desire to have my work butchered by the Hollywood machine, but Hollywood was persistent. They continued to call both me and my agent for a full month before presenting me with an offer I could hardly refuse in early December. I would have a hand in the writing of the script with full veto power, a seven figure pay out for the rights, and a front seat to the production and casting process. I asked for more time to think about it, promising an answer after the first of the year, which gave me a full month to maul the idea to death and back again. It seemed too good to be true, in which case it most likely was, but the money would mean my kids would be set for life financially.

Poor Edward, who was more or less living at my house by that point, spending every night with us that he was off, and sleeping there most days while the kids were at school when he worked, had to listen to me rant and rave both sides of the argument for a whole week. He never offered any advice whatsoever, simply telling me to do what felt right. It was such a big decision and a huge time commitment, but I couldn't help but think it was worth it in the end.

I continued to stew over it until the week of Christmas when we got lucky enough to get Millie again for two whole weeks. We had so much fun, enjoying every minute. Christmas was wonderful and the week that followed left me feeling so at peace. All felt right with the world when we were all together.

The day of Millie's birthday we loaded up and carted the whole family to the skating rink where Millie chose to have her seventh birthday. The owner was away again, but happily loaned the space to us for the party. Half the town was there to celebrate as we all skated around, listening to music and laughing. A little ways in, the music stopped and I moved myself to take care of the cake, expecting that we were entering the next stage in the party, but jumped in surprise as Edward's voice echoed through the air as he skated up before me, our kids at his side, a wireless microphone in his hand.

"Bella, will you come out here with us please?"

I frowned in confusion before carefully making my way to where they were standing, Edward's eye twinkling deviously as the kids all looked like they were about to jump right out of their skates with excitement. The soft strains of the piano and violin introduction of the song Pieces by Red that was playing while we danced on New Year 's Eve began to play softly as Edward began talking into the microphone.

"You literally crashed into my life a year ago, Bella Swan, and it hasn't been the same since. You have brought so much happiness into my family's life and I will be forever grateful for that. The kids and I have all discussed it and they all agreed I had permission to do this."

He dropped down on his knee before me and lifted a black box with the top tipped open. Inside sat a beautiful heart shaped diamond on a plain gold band. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you please do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

My hand shook as I held it over my lips, my eyes blurring with the tears that just kept welling over and over in my eyes. He stared up at me with that beautiful sea glass green gaze, so clear and full of adoration that my heart melted completely.

I think I started nodding first before I finally dropped my hand to croak out a yes. Edward jumped up and kissed me before pulling me close as the crowd cheered. Three sets of arms hugged around our waists as we all hugged together before Edward pulled away enough to pull the ring out and slide it onto my finger before kissing it.

"I love you, Bella Swan."

Tears were running down my face like crazy as I smiled up at Edward. "I love you too, Edward Cullen. Thank you…for everything. Thank you for being you."

Edward pulled me into another passionate kiss as the crowd around us began to mill about and return to what they were doing, but Edward and I were oblivious as we stood together on the ice and smiled. It was a crazy year, but I wouldn't have traded one minute of it for anything in the world.

* * *

**FYI: the Epi will be a future shot! ;) **


	10. Chapter 10

**_Author's Note: I posted and a few minutes later AGW got the betaed version back to me. Sorry for jumping the gun, but I will be AWOL most of the day, so I wanted to make sure it posted. A big thanks to AgoodWITCH for her beta work even when feeling ucky, as well as Sarah and Deena for prereading, and all the WC girls who gave me their impressions as I worked on this. This is the last thing we will see of these guys. I hope you are all satisfied with their HEA :)_**

Epilogue

I woke up with a twinge, lying alone in the bed I shared with Edward. I shifted as my back registered another sharp pain. I sat up slowly, moaning at the sensation before glancing at the clock, three fifteen in the morning. I winced as I calculated how long before Edward would be home from his shift. It was the wee hours of New Year's Eve, which more than likely meant he would be even later than usual, which wasn't good.

I leaned over to reach for the phone when another twinge hit, followed by a pop and a gush. I yelped, dialing Edward's number quickly only to get his voicemail. I cursed before moving to sit up on the side of my bed and began calling for my kids.

"Braxton, Millie, I need you! Wake up! Braxton! Milllllieeeee!"

It took about three good yells before I heard the sound of feet pounding on the hardwood in the hallway. The bedroom door flew open to reveal my nearly six foot tall son looking disheveled and freaked out as he stood in the doorway with his hair pointing in all directions. It had been ten years since we had moved to Everwood, and during that time Braxton had grown into a charming, popular, athletic sixteen year old who practically ruled the school.

"Brax," I gasped as another pain hit. "It's time and I can't reach Dad. I need you and Millie to take me to the hospital. I'm going to call your Grandma to come stay with Bailey and Max. Go get dressed, make sure Millie is up. Have her come help me get dressed while you go scrape and warm the car and grab my hospital bag."

He nodded before dashing out of the doorway full speed. I barely had time to dial Esme when Millie came skidding into the room dressed in a pair of sweats and my old Arizona State sweatshirt which I hadn't been able to squeeze in for the past few months thanks to my very prominent condition. Edward and I married six months after he asked me to marry him in a beautiful little ceremony in the gazebo in the town square. Two months later with my more than adequate lawyer lending a hand and referring us to the best lawyer in all of California, Edward and I filed a custody appeal. Leah fought at first, but in the end, she didn't really want to do more than make a good show. By the following Christmas, Millie was home where she belonged and had remained there ever since. I was now Mom and Leah, who had only contacted her a handful of times since we gained custody of her was 'that woman.' Millie had turned out gorgeous, just like her mom, tall, beautiful, and sought after by far too many boys to keep her father sane, but that was where the resemblance ended. Just as she had been at six, Millie was still the kindest hearted, most loving person on the planet, which just made her all the more gorgeous.

I directed her toward the closet with a nod to which she gestured her understanding just as Esme answered.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Esme, but it's time and I can't reach Edward. I'm having the kids drive me to the hospital and was hoping either you or Carlisle would be willing to run over to stay with Bailey and Max."

Esme gasped before the sounds of fabric rustling met my ears. "I'll be there in mere minutes, sweetheart. Don't you worry." I ended the call quickly to make the next crucial call.

I was early and this wasn't good. Due to my vertical incision with Braxton, I had no choice but to have repeat C-sections or risk uterine wall tearing and endangering both of us. I called the doctor who sounded panicked as I was ordered immediately to the hospital where an OR would be prepped for an emergency C-section. I felt so flustered and upset. We had it all planned…two weeks from today! Edward already arranged for extended leave to help, babysitters had been arranged, the whole nine yards was planned to the nth degree, and now it was all going down in chaos and stress.

After hanging up and letting Millie help me to the bathroom, pausing once to catch my breath as a particularly sharp pain lanced through my lower back, we hurriedly changed me out of my wet pajamas and into dry clothes before Millie helped me get on shoes and assisted me down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Bailey and Max were waiting for us, hugging me immediately.

Bailey was thirteen now and was going to be an absolute beauty soon, but unfortunately was suffering through her awkward stage. Braces and glasses masked her beauty to a degree, but her eyes and her smile told a story that would someday be obvious for all around her. She too was kind, learning a lot from Millie, but also a bit bossy with a touch of my control freak tendencies. This translated into her being an excellent student, but also a bit of a smart mouth. The smart mouth tendencies were missing this early morning, as she looked at me in concern with her arm around her little brother Max.

Maxwell Carlisle Cullen was born four and a half years after Edward and I were married. He looked so much like Edward it wasn't even funny, from his messy auburn hair all the way down to his crooked smirk. He was a handful and a half, full of more energy than our other three kids combined had been at his age, but he also had a good heart. He wanted so badly to be good and yet kept falling a little shy of the mark. I couldn't help but hope that he'd settle with time. His time in Kindergarten already seemed to be teaching him a bit more control, but he still had a long way to go. He was sniffling as I went to put on my coat, breaking my heart. I hugged him one last time before hugging Esme and thanking her again before letting Millie and Braxton lead me down to the car.

I called the Forest Service Dispatch office to have them relay the message on the car ride to the hospital before trying his cell phone every few seconds until time ran out and we arrived at the hospital. Life kicked into a whirlwind as I was wheeled immediately to Labor and Delivery to be prepped for surgery while the kids looked on anxiously. As the nurse left to go grab the supplies to sink my IV line, I made up an errand for Braxton, getting Millie alone.

I held her hand and breathed my way through another contraction before turning to her with serious eyes.

"We're going to be okay, Millie, but I have some things I need you to do for me. This being an emergency C-section, your Dad won't even be allowed in the room with me, much less any of you guys. I know this is going to be hard, but I need you to try to keep them as calm as you can. This is going to be okay and in a couple of hours your new little sister will be here. Okay?"

Millie swallowed, squeezing my hand before nodding. The nurse came back in, inserting the IV and catheter before taking me through the next round of tests. My hands shook as I waited on the edge of the bed, my two kids standing on either side of me with their hands on my shoulders as I waited for the wheelchair that would take me to the OR. My lip trembled and my eyes began to well with tears as the nurse came in to help me move to the chair. I wanted so badly to see Edward before this began, to tell him I loved him just in case something went wrong. I wanted his reassurances and his support, but instead I was going in alone without even getting to see him.

The kids hugged me before walking toward the waiting room as the nurse wheeled me down the stale green corridor. We were mere feet from the double doors that led to the OR when I heard the voice I wanted to hear most yell my name. I asked the nurse to stop and turned to see Edward flying down the hallway toward me, his face looking desperate.

When he reached me, he hugged me tightly and kissed my lips. "I love you, Bella. I'll be waiting for you. I'm going to harass them into letting me sit with you in recovery."

I shook my head. "No, I want you to stay with the baby if they'll let you. I want her to know we're there for her."

He nodded before kissing me one more time and moving aside. His hand holding onto mine as long as it could before we were forced to release. The OR was cold as I entered. Everything was a blur as they moved me to the table, made me stay as still as possible while the anesthesiologist inserted the spinal block and I was down on the table. The medication sent me for a loop, making me heave most of the time and struggled to breathe between. I was scared and miserable and more than anything I wanted Edward there. It seemed like an eternity before I felt the tugging and pressure and then total relief when I heard those first perfect cries.

"It's a girl," the doctor exclaimed as he lifted her so I could see her over the sheet that separated their gory work from my field of vision. The glimpse was far too brief, but I was certain I had seen a mop of dark hair on her head, as opposed to the rusty red Max's had been. As they worked to close me up, I cried tears of joy mixed with tears of regret that Edward ended up missing it all. I focused on the nurses across the room prepping her and cleaning her after they weighed her, announcing to me that she was just shy of eight pounds.

Once she was cleaned and wrapped, they brought her over and held her down next to me, her big glassy eyes blinked at me as I tried to talk to her through my froggy, gag wearied voice. "Hi little girl. I'm your Mommy. You're going to meet Daddy very soon. I love you." I kissed her tiny crinkled forehead before the nurse took her away and laid her in a clear isolette before pushing her out the doors and into the hallway. Once she was gone, the pressure of my worry over her safety past, as well as the nausea as my blood loss was stemmed, and I began to drift off in an exhausted sleep.

I woke up twice on the way to the recovery and during the transfer, whimpering at the pain I was already in. I didn't remember it hurting so much with the other kids, but I was also younger then. My body was probably trying to make me remember that I was 43 and should probably stop at four deliveries. I happened to agree this time around.

I finally drifted off again through the discomfort only to wake to Edward holding my hand beside me on the bed. He smiled at me before showing me a bunch of pictures of the baby. She was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes again.

"We have officially run out of time, Love. We have to decide on her name."

I sighed and nodded as I flipped through the images before stopping on one where Millie was holding the baby, beaming like no tomorrow. She apparently wasn't bothered by the fact that she was going to have to share her birthday with her new little sister. This little girl's early arrival was going to put the kybosh on all our special plans, but I had a feeling Millie wouldn't take it that hard, and she could still go and spend the night with her friends later this evening as she had planned.

I smiled as I looked at the daughter I had just bourne from my body being held by the one that held my heart as if she had been as well. My smile widened as I gazed at the picture before looking up at Edward. "How about Emmalie? We could call her Emma, but it would also be sort of like Millie since she was born on her birthday."

Edward cocked his head and smiled. "I thought we weren't naming this child after anybody…totally original."

I rolled my eyes. "She was born on the girl's birthday, Edward. She's missing out on her full day of festivities. It's the least we could do, besides, I really like Emma Cullen."

Edward leaned down to kiss me before sitting back with a smile. "So do I. Now what about a middle name?"

I frowned as I thought about the question. I actually hadn't gotten that far yet. Finally, it hit me and I smirked at him. "Well if we're blowing the originality thing out of the water, why not do it thoroughly and go with Suzanne?"

Edward chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "Mom would love that." I nodded in agreement.

A few hours later, I was finally placed in a regular room as our immediate family crowded around the bed to smile down at Emma as I held her in my arms, my heart feeling warm and cozy. Max climbed into bed beside me and cuddled up, running a single finger down her face. As I looked around the room, I knew that our family was now absolutely complete, and no accomplishment, not my career, my novels, the five movies based on my works that had come out in the past decade…none of it even came close to comparing to the accomplishment I felt as I smiled up at my loved ones. Things weren't always easy, and just as with Emma's birth, rarely went as planned, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Eleven years ago, I had come to this place a broken woman, brokenhearted and full of bitterness, and along the way I had been not only restored, but made even better. I would forever be grateful for the events that lead me to this place and to the man who owned my heart completely and gave me the loving family I never believed I would ever have. He was my home and my miracle.

**_Author's Note: FYI, Suzanne is Esme's middle name. My beta was confused by that because it was never mentioned. In my mind it was implied, but I wanted to clarify in case it confused others. I hope you enjoyed it!_**


End file.
